Fuck You, Pay Me!

3. Make Your Acquaintance

"Yeah, I fuckin' bet. How do you know that shitty nerd anyway?"

"Midoriya? We met in middle school but we also take a class together over at Yuuei University. Worked on a presentation together once and hung out a few times and now we're cool. Pretty cool guy once you get past the annoying bits about him. Good man."

"You go to Yuuei? Aren't you too old to still be in college?"

"Firstly, you're never too old to go get your degree. Having a mindset like that won't get you anywhere in life. Secondly, I'm only twenty-three years old sooooo..." he waves his hand around in a so-so gesture. "I might be able to graduate this year, if I actually start giving a damn."

He looks so much older, Katsuki thinks, and it's probably the simple fact that he also looks as if he hasn't gotten a proper night's sleep since he crawled out of his mother's snatch.

"Don't tell me. I look old, right?"

Katsuki coughs into his fist as he catches himself openly staring.

"Not old, dipshit. Just mature."

"That's about as much as a compliment I've heard from you since we've met."

"Yeah, well, that's about as much as you'll get, fucker."

The front door opens and both of them whip around to watch Midoriya come briskly walking in with a four-way cupholder of coffee balanced on one arm and a paper bag filled with something heinously greasy in the other. Kaminari comes trailing in behind him, his own drink already poised at his lips.

Deku perks up the moment he lays eyes on Katsuki.

"Oh! You're up earlier than I expected, Kacchan. Did you sleep well?"

Katsuki bristles at him like he knows damn well he hasn't.

"I'd still be asleep if your jackass friend wasn't blasting dying cat music at top volume. And what the fuck are you staring at, dumbass?!" He directs the last bit at Denki who openly eyeing him. The shorter blonde plops down onto the sofa with a grin.

"Just appreciating how delicious you look in that t-shirt and panties combo you're sporting, no sweat."

"You want a show, you pay me, you fuck."

"Jeez, Kats, are you ever gonna stop curving me? All I'm asking is one date!"

"Eat a bag of old dicks, Short Shock."

"So he's like this with everyone and not just me, then? Good to know." Hitoshi chimes, ashing his cigarette in the tray set out on the coffee table as he takes his feet down and plants them firmly onto the area rug.

"Sorry, Kacchan. I didn't tell him that you were sleeping in there so if it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I can make it up to you, though."

"And how you gonna do that, dipass?"

Izuku holds up the paper bag in Katsuki's view with a smile.

"I got your favorite burgers from that food truck that you like. The one with the cajun fries?"

Katsuki's gaze flickers between Izuku and the bag before he stomps his way over to snatch it away, climbing onto the sofa as far away from Kaminari as he can as he makes himself comfortable.

"By the way, Kacchan, this is Hitoshi! He's a friend from---"

"We've met. On two separate occasions." Katsuki cuts him short, stuffing a hand full of fries into his mouth. He hadn't realized he was actually starving until the smell of food he had absolutely no business eating began to make his mouth water and the sound of his stomach growling reaches his ears. He doesn't have to look up at Izuku to see the absolutely confused expression on his face.