Walking Fragile Lines

I Want To Fix This

"Let's go out for dinner or something this week - I think we need to talk", Joe said. The guys nodded in unison before saying their goodbyes and making their way to their respective vehicles. The guys had spoken about stopping the show before, but they really did love it and they hated the thought of upsetting their fans, but maybe it was time to really consider it?

After spending a few hours recording the TESD podcast and venting with Walt and Bry, Brian arrived home to find Liv rushing around the house in search of her last minute essentials, a usual occurrence before she would head out to work.

"Hey baby", she said breathlessly as she kissed him on the cheek before returning to her rushing. "How did it go today?", she asked.

"The network keep trying to push the original date but - but we put our foot down", he smiled proudly.

"That's great", she said as she reached down the sides of the couch. "I think Zac's been playing with my flashlight again - have you seen it?", she asked. Brian shook his head as she sprinted past him into the kitchen.

"How have the kids been?", he asked.

"Zac's been fine but - but Maci seemed a little down when I picked her up from school. Could you try talking to her?", Liv asked as she put on her coat. Brian nodded as he smiled confidently.

"Got everything?", he asked.

"I think so", she sighed dramatically as she gave a breathy chuckle. Grabbing her car keys, she approached him before pressing her lips firmly against his. "I really wish we had more time to talk", she told him in almost a whisper.

"It's okay, we'll talk when you're home", he smiled before kissing her once more. "Have a great shift", he said before seeing her out. He knew she couldn't help it, but he really wished she did have time to talk - these days he really felt as though they didn't share stuff the way they used to. Liv's confession of feeing like a part time wife had been the first deep thing the couple had shared in a while. Still, it wasn't her fault, and Brian knew that.

Checking in on Zac, he was happy to see that he was already sound asleep, gently running his fingers through his thick brunette locks before placing a soft kiss on his temple and quietly exiting. He next knocked on Maci's bedroom door, entering when she had told him he could do so. He was unsurprised to find her sitting in bed with her copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in her lap.

"Hey cutie", he smiled as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey daddy", she smiled warmly as she placed her book on her bedside table. Brian took a seat on end of her bed as she tucked her knees up to her chest. "How was work?", she asked.

"It was work", he gave a breathy chuckle. "How was school?", he asked in return.

"It was school", she shrugged. Brian smirked as he shook his head.

"Touché", he chuckled. Maci gave a small laugh as she pushed her hair behind her ears, staring down at her bed silently. "Is everything okay Maci?", he suddenly asked, earning her full attention as she looked him in the eye. "It's just - well your mom and I have noticed you've been real quiet lately and - well, we're a little concerned about your trouble sleeping", he told her honestly. Maci sighed as she stretched her legs out across the bed.

"It's okay - really. I just - I guess I'm just reading too much", she said. Brian knew she was lying, but he still wasn't going to push her. He knew from his own experiences that pushing your luck got you nowhere and he knew his daughter well enough to know that she would come to them in her own time. Brian sighed as he placed his hand on her knee.

"I know I have to go away a lot for work but - but I am always here for you. You know that, right?", he asked. He was happy to see Maci nodding as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Good. Now, that's enough reading for one night, ya big nerd", he joked as he lifted her duvet for her to climb under. Maci chuckled as she got comfortable in her bed, allowing Brian to tuck her in. "I love you Maci", he sighed lovingly as he ran his fingers through her hair once more.

"I love you too dad", she smiled warmly at him. Brian leaned over, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead before getting up and letting himself out, leaving his daughter to hopefully get some form of sleep.

Brian laid in his own bed, going through an old photo album as he smiled fondly at the memories they had collected. The day he and Liv got married. Bringing Zac home from the hospital after he was born, and then reuniting him with Liv when she returned home. Maci's first spelling bee. Zac's first steps. And Brian couldn't help but notice that the last big memory that had been added to the album was a photo of the four of them at the Impractical Jokers Movie premiere, which had happened a whole year before. Sure, he knew they had taken photos whilst in Hawaii, but the time difference was noticeably huge, and it caused him to sigh sadly. He wished he didn't care about the show and his fans as much as he did - that way he could give it up without a care in the world, but even then it wasn't like his physical health would allow him to return to the fire department - he would have to completely rely on Liv. Brian was at a loss, and he was quickly running out of ideas for how to fix things, and running out of hope. 

A couple of days later, as he had suggested, Joe had organised for the four of them to meet up for lunch so they could really lay their souls bare. Brian thought the time spent discussing their separate issues would be shared equally, but he was slowly starting to realise that Joe had set this up purely for his benefit. The other guys didn't have so much trouble spending time with their own families, their wives and girlfriends either worked from home or alongside them, making it a lot easier for time to be shared between them and the show - Brian was the only Joker who's wife worked almost as much as he did. It had been just over an hour but Brian had poured his heart out to his friends - about how Maci had been struggling with something and he hadn't even had the time to truly investigate, how he hadn't been able to sit and help his son with his homework in over three months and how Liv had confided in him that she had started to feel like a part time wife and a single mother.

"I don't wanna quit the show", he told them as he sighed. "Especially not whilst its in its prime! But - I just don't know", he continued, at a loss as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "What am I supposed to do here guys?", he asked. He watched his three friends share a look before their attention returned to him.

"I know it's hard buddy but - but you've just gotta keep on making an effort", Joe told him.

"I have!", Brian exasperated.

"But - and I mean this in the nicest way possible - have you really?", Sal interjected. Brian sat and pondered his question for a moment, unable to come up with a response as he really thought over his own actions. "I know you booked the vacation to Hawaii but - it's gonna take more than a trip Q", Sal continued. He was right. Brian knew he was. His intentions when booking Hawaii were nothing but good, but he had to admit - he hadn't thought past that one plan. Instead of making some sort of effort, he had been wallowing in self pity and silently hoping the situation would fix itself. Liv on the other hand had made continuous effort - inviting him to school events, including ones she knew he wouldn't be able to attend but doing so anyway so he felt included, suggesting they go out for dinner or heading out for walks or even just watching a movie at home.  And in that moment, Brian made a silent promise to himself that from that point onward, he was going to start making more of an effort, and he was going to get things back to the way they were.