Headmaster

Chapter Six

With music as a new subject to bond over, Benjamin and I became a lot closer over the next few weeks. It was still a little awkward with all the boundaries between student and headmaster, but we managed to find a friendship buried in all the awkwardness. And I was satisfied with just that. I was slowly starting to be able to hide my feelings, but I knew I wasn't going to end these feelings. With each new conversation I learned something new that made me fall for him all over again. So, while I couldn't crush the feelings, I could at least hide them.

"What about... Sci-fi?" I looked up at Benjamin, who shook his head.

"Not a fan. You?"

"Not really."

We were playing a game where we went back and forth listing topics within a category to see if the other liked them. Today's category was books. Benjamin chose the category for today. He squinted as he thought (it was another habit of his that I'd picked up on). "Cliches." He sat up a little, pleased with his question.

I groaned. "Absolutely not."

"What? Why?"

"Because they're predictable. What's the point of reading if you already know what's going to happen?"

Benjamin looked a little hurt. "I like them. It's nice to know that even when something bad is happening, something good will follow." He looked up. "I take it this means you hate cliches in general?"

"You got it. No brave hero jumping in front of a bullet for me. No random rainfall, no somber confessions under a tree-" I stopped at the last one, my eyes meeting Benjamin's. We went silent for a moment, until I could slow my heart and catch my breath enough to say, "- and no awkward silences." Benjamin broke into a grin. Taking another breath, I glanced at the clock he had sitting on his nightstand. Standing up, I grabbed my blazer from the desk chair. "I... I better go."

"Already? It's only six." Frowning, Benjamin stood as well and walked over to me. I had to crane my neck to look up as he stood next to me, curse my height, so I took a step back and nodded.

"I just... remembered some homework I didn't do," I said lamely. I felt bad about lying to him, but if I stayed here any longer I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing something incredibly stupid. Like hugging him. Or kissing him. God forbid I kiss him.

"Can't you do it here?" Benjamin stared at me with a pleading expression.

I swallowed. I hated it when he looked at me like that. It was like staring at a puppy. All I wanted was to say yes and stay here forever. But I don't know if my heart could handle that. "I... Uh, left my bag in the dorms. It would be easier to just do it in my room."

Nodding, Benjamin sat back down on the bed. "You're right, sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I don't really know why I did..." He mumbled to himself for a moment then seemed to remember I was still standing next to him and said, "Um... See you tomorrow?"

I lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. "I don't know. Maybe not... I have a lot to do." The disappointment in his expression made me feel worse, but instead of saying anything I turned and left. I walked back down the hall to the stairs mechanically, still in a trance. It was a miracle I could even be his friend like this. I didn't want to ruin that. He's a great guy. A little awkward, sure, but who isn't? He deserves to be happy, get married, and have a ton of adorable little Benjamins to take care of. Some woman's bound to think he's cute. Hell, he's gorgeous. Someone out there besides me will like his personality, too. I mean, he's basically the perfect man, so undoubtedly someone will come along.

The cool air greeted me when I stepped outside of the dorm. Some students were still out and about, but most were in their dorms or the library. Most of the teachers were also in their dorms, but I saw at least one as I walked to the student dorms. I knew some of the teachers didn't care for my hanging with Benjamin. They were mostly the ones who have been here almost since the school's founding, who believed in following a strict separation between students and teachers. Most of the younger teachers would just greet me or pat my shoulder or something. Some even told me to hang with them, too, sometimes.

Devin was inside the room when I got there, a sour expression on his face. I didn't bother asking, as usual, so I just sat down on my bed and closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about anything, but every time I managed to clear my head Benjamin's face appeared in my mind and I suddenly couldn't stop thinking about his smile. And, once I had done that, I thought about his look of disappointment when I left. I couldn't bear seeing that look on his face, but I also knew I couldn't continue getting closer to him if I wanted to keep him from having that look. He's almost like a puppy, following around whoever it sees and imprinting on them. The thought of Benjamin as a puppy made me smile, silently laughing.

Honestly, with not much else to do around campus, I find myself thinking about Benjamin constantly, which is not always a good thing. For starters, my roommate still gives me the death glare if I so much as look at him wrong, and heaven knows it won't end well if he figures out my train of thought. Of course, there's also Benjamin himself to consider. With him seemingly around every corner, it's kind of hard to fantasize about him. It doesn't stop you from trying, does it? I blushed at the thought. Well, I am a high schooler, after all. Isn't it simply stereotypical that the only things I think about are dating and guys? Of course, I'm also a guy... 

Shaking my head, I glanced at my bag, which was perched on my desk. I actually do have work to do, so it wasn't a total lie, but it isn't due for another two days, so I can put it off to tomorrow if I want to. Still, I feel bad for lying to Benjamin... Begrudgingly, I lifted myself off my bed and sat down at my desk, pulling out the supplies and papers I'd need for the assignments. They were fairly simple, but at the very least they took my attention away from Benjamin, albeit temporarily.

The next day, I wandered down for breakfast in a bleary haze. It turned out that the assignments took longer than I'd thought, and I hadn't gotten to sleep until late. Granted, I did spend a small, tiny, teeny portion of that time wallowing in my feelings for Benjamin. Worse still is the fact that I'd accidentally fallen asleep at my desk, causing my body to creak and ache with every step. My eyes watered at the rising sunlight peeking over the trees in the distance. Why does morning have to be a thing? Why couldn't classes start, say, at seven P.M. instead? Hell, why not just forgo classes all together and simply just not have school?

"Sleep late?" A voice behind me asked.

"How could you tell?" I turned to see Alex come up beside me with a grin.

"Well, for one, you didn't turn when I called your name. And for another thing, you look like crap."

"Oh." I quirked a brow at him, but a loud yawn escaped me and I couldn't retort the pointed look he gave me. We walked the rest of the way to the cafeteria in silence, until we got to our table and saw Wes waiting for us, a scowl on his face. 

Alex sighed, sitting down in his usual seat, across from Wes. He tilted his head, brow raised. "So? What's up, Wes."

Wes stuck out his tongue at Alex. "I'm not here for you."

I swallowed when his gaze turned to me, sitting down next to Alex. "Okay, then... What did you want to say to me."

Wes frowned, crossing his arms. "I thought I told you to stay away from Headmaster Quinn. Not cozy up to him."

Before I could reply, Alex snorted. "Leave him be, Wes. He made a friend. It's not like they're making out or anything."

I choked, blushing. Wes turned his eyes to me, narrowing them slightly before turning back to Alex. "You'd better hope so." 

He gave me a small glare before turning away from the table, skipping off to, I assume, wherever Benjamin is. He always spends the meals pressed up against Benjamin, but oddly enough that's really the only time I see them together. Benjamin probably avoids him the rest of the time. I snorted at the thought. He probably did try to avoid Wes. He's too gentle to spurn him outright. It was most likely that he disliked the way Wes clung to him, or was uncomfortable with it, but couldn't tell him otherwise.

 Alex turned to glance at where Wes had gone then turned to me. "Well, I think you'd better prepare yourself for Wes's unrelenting attention."

I blinked. "What, has this happened before or something?"

"Yeah, freshman year. He hounded this kid who got too close to Headmaster Quinn and caused him to quit."

"Oh, great." Just great.