Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|30|

[Y/W/N]s dream fades. She's in a completely white area. "[Y/W/N]." [Y/W/N] jumps, scared out of her fur.  She flattens herself against the ground as though she still has the kits in her stomach, and realizes that it's Spottedleaf who called out to her. "Why did you show me that?" [Y/W/N] hisses. "Clanlife isn't always so happy. Would you mind repeating to me, what part of the code did I let Jayfeather break?" "You said he could have a mate, right?" "Yes. Did I say anything else?" "...No?" [Y/W/N] comes to realize what she's saying."He can't have kits if you want them, and you, to survive, [Y/W/N]. I'm so sorry." "...It's not your fault, Spottedleaf. But what was that battle?" "A dark time is coming." "What? Spottedleaf! Will Thunderclan survive? After that dark time has come... Can we...-" "Perhaps, eh?" She chuckles. "That's for fate to decide. If you live." She said coldly, as she disappeared.

[Y/W/N] wakes up having seizure-like symptoms, but she's likely just in shock. She twitches in her and Jayfeathers nest and thrashes around while Jayfeather was holding her in place so she didn't break a bone. Briarlight was getting her herbs. Jayfeather rasped a tongue over her ear. "It was just a dream. Wake up," he meows. Her twitching slows, but her breathing doesn't. Her mouth stays open, panting for breath as though she really was in the battle, fighting for her life. Cats were beginning to stir around the medicine den after smelling fear scent off of the three of them. [Y/W/N] could hear Sorreltail, who had recently given birth to Seedkit and Lilykit, asking Berrynose what was happening. His attempted reassurance seemed to work decently though he had no idea what was happening himself. After mindlessly gulping down some herbs that Jayfeather gave her to sooth her shock,  [Y/W/N] calmed down well enough to not be considered in danger. She stares at Jayfeather, not knowing where to start, or if to start in the first place.
•Jayfeathers POV•
Last night, I told Cinderheart her story. I doubt that it had anything to do with [Y/W/N], though. Even so, She doesn't have a history with seizures. This is probably just Starclan sending us another message, but if it's through her rather than the actual medicine cat, it must have been for her. This couldn't possibly be about the dark forest. No, they would send it to a leader. Starclan knows an ordinary warrior couldn't handle such a thing on her own! But then again, she is no ordinary warrior... Could she be the fourth?
•Third person•
"Are you feeling okay now?" Jayfeather asked, sending a quick lick over her ear. It flattens back in guilt and discomfort. "Yeah. I'm fine, I'm sorry." "Don't apologize. Come on, let's go for a walk." He gives a nod to Briarlight. This doesn't reassure her but she seemed to understand and the clanmates around the nest were stirring. Lionblaze was the one closest to the entrance. Well, and Squirrelflight, but she was more of in the den and on top of Jayfeather asking what happen. He hissed at her and said something along the lines of, "She needs space and fresh air, not your mouse-breath! She's fine, I gave her herbs," before guiding [Y/W/N] away with his tail to get her out of the environment. Firestar was next to Lionblaze, knowing better than to question his medicine cat, and Lionblaze didn't dare cross Jayfeather after hearing his remark to Squirrelflight. Meanwhile, [Y/W/N] couldn't get that dream- no, nightmare- out of her head. She trotted after Jayfeather deeper into Thunderclan territory. "What was it about?" he was murmured. "There was a battle. It was unholy. Cats were dying, the elders were fighting. I was pregnant, and Breezepelt-" [Y/W/N] stops her sentence, not wanting to relive what happen. "You must've had a vision. Did any cat visit you afterwards?" "Spottedleaf." "What did she say?" "She said that a dark time was coming, and that we didn't have permission to have kits. Only to be mates. And if we did have kits, they'd be lucky to live past the battle." [Y/W/N] meows. Jayfeather presses against her side, crushing down his own insecurities. "Even if we do have kits, they'd be the strongest in the clan. Of course they'd live. But that's a bit soon, don't you think?" Jayfeather purrs slightly. "Yeah, you're right." [Y/W/N] relaxes at his words. "How would an entire kit even fit, anyways-" "I still don't know what I see in you." He meows. "Wow, thanks!" [Y/W/N] hisses sarcastically. "No problem." "You try pushing that out of you!" "I don't know if you've realized this yet, but I'm a tom." "I never guessed." They walk back to camp and Firestar immediately pads over to them. "How was her seizure?" He meows." "It was fine, and I wouldn't call it a seizure. It was more of a state of shock," Jayfeather responds. "That's good to hear. I have bad news even so; no one has seen Ivypool and Dovewing the past day. Lionblaze is out looking for her, along with cats patrolling the border." [Y/W/N] gasps in shock. Jayfeathers own uncertainty doesn't show, though. "They're probably fine." "He's right. Go get something on the fresh kill pile for when they're back, to keep your mind off it. There's a hunting patrol near the lake if you'd like to join." Firestar says. "Roger that." [Y/W/N] flicks her tail and bounds off towards the lake. That's worrying. But they probably are okay. They're strong warriors. Just as she was about to continue walking, shocked yowls erupted from camp. Oh, Starclan help me. She bolts back and sees Lionblaze, Dovewing and Ivypool returning. Lionblaze had an unreadable expression on his face, but he was already explaining to Firestar. "But that's not all we found," he continued. A black she-cat comes out from behind him. Jayfeather was in the back, staring at the cat in shock. Who is that- Oh. OH! [Y/W/N] feels her fur fluff up in shock. All of Thunderclan stands in confusion, but yowls their excitement. "Hollyleaf! You're back!" "Are you okay?" "What happen?" "No. You were dead!" Firestar silences them with a flick of his tail, and nods to Hollyleaf, signaling for her to talk. "Dovewing and Ivypool fell into the tunnels. I helped them out. Lionblaze persuaded me to come back to Thunderclan. I was worried I wouldn't be accepted. When I fell into the tunnels I was injured and nursed myself back to health but didn't know if Thunderclan would want me back after such a scare," she meows. "I'm sorry for that." The clan goes silent, but Firestar speaks up. "So you were capable of returning, but refused?" His calm demeanor didn't hide the hurt and confusion in his voice. "I didn't know if Thunderclan would be better that way, Firestar, but yes," she responded. "Very well. If you're still unsure of your loyalty to Thunderclan, please speak up," Firestar meowed. "I've never been unsure about my loyalty, Firestar. I've only been unsure about if I would be a nuisance." Firestar nods in understanding. "Then do you wish to rejoin Thunderclan?" "...I do." [Y/W/N] glances at Jayfeather. He seemed both annoyed and relieved. Why is he annoyed? His sister just came back! Some of the clan cheers for Hollyleafs return, while the others are trying to calm down Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw. Hollyleaf looks at [Y/W/N], tilting her head in confusion. Though there were many new cats in the clan, Hollyleaf could recognize them as they had the features of their parents. Meanwhile, [Y/W/N] didn't look familiar and stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do, but eventually gets up to meet Hollyleaf. "Hi! I'm [Y/W/N]. You're Hollyleaf, right?" "Yeah. I don't recognize you, whos kin are you?" "No one you'd know, I used to be a loner. I joined Thunderclan after Firestar invited me when I saved a kit that got lost in leafbare. I'm still confused on that," [Y/W/N] explains. Hollyleaf nods. "It's good to meet you!" She meows, beginning to get more cheerful. "You too," [Y/W/N] squeaks before Hollyleaf gets carried away in the crowd. [Y/W/N] shrugs and considers going back to hunting with some of the other warriors that were already going back to regular duties before she notices Jayfeather talk to Hollyleaf for a split second before walking away with his tail lashing. She looks hurt, and goes to talk to her other clanmates. [Y/W/N] pads after him. "Hi!" [Y/W/N] meows. "What?" He asks, bluntly. "Are you okay?" "Yeah. Fine, aside from the fact my sister let me think she was dead for moons on end before suddenly returning and everyone else going back to normal and her pretending like it didn't effect me and Lionblaze whatsoever," he meows bluntly. [Y/W/N] twitches her tail. "They can't keep longing on it. The warriors still need to feed the clan in the end, don't they? Hollyleaf probably has a lot going on in her head that you don't know about. A lot happen, she isn't going to tell you everything yet. She's probably feeling really confused, just like you are. She probably didn't want to return because this is what she feared would happen, you know?" "Yeah, sure. It's just odd, okay? Don't expect me to get used to it that easily." "I won't." [Y/W/N] headbutts his shoulder. "I'm going to go practice hunting with Briarlight. Try and get some rest, okay?" "I don't need rest, I'm not a kit." "Just enjoy the fact I'm giving you time alone for once, mouse brain." "Whatever," he hisses. [Y/W/N] stalks away to find Briarlight. She was curiously poking around the camp, to see what was happening. [Y/W/N] bounds off towards her. "Hey Briarlight! Wanna practice hunting? I have nothing better to do besides annoy Jayfeather and he's busy with herbs and stuff," [Y/W/N] groans. "Huh? Oh, yeah, definitely!" Briarlight agrees. Her excitement doesn't fail to shine as she hurls herself towards the forest, somehow being faster than [Y/W/N] is out of pure adrenaline. "Hey! I said we were hunting, not racing!" [Y/W/N] hisses. "Sorry!"
•Timeskip•
[Y/W/N] and Briarlight pad back to camp, taking their last trip. Time flew; the sun was setting already, and the commotion was dying down. Firestar was watching his clan from the entrance of his den, next to Sandstorm. Mates were sharing tongues and Cherrypaw and Volepaw were setting Hollyleaf a nest. During the hunting practice session, Briarlight proudly caught two mice, and [Y/W/N] caught a sparrow and two water voles in one of the Thunderclan streams. Her chest rumbles with a heavy purr as she thinks of how strong Briarlight is getting at hunting already. Briarlight wasn't any less happy, too. The clan stirs when they arrive, congratulating Briarlight, just as thrilled as the night before. Milly nearly topples her over, praising her even harder than the first time she caught a mouse. [Y/W/N] feels her muzzle curl in a smile and walks into the medicine den, too tired to eat anything. A familiar grumpy mew comes from behind her. "About time you're back. I was almost getting lonely," Jayfeather meows sarcastically. "Ha! That's a first," [Y/W/N] remarks. "Yeah, I'm kidding." "That's still a first." "Shut up. Did you eat?" "Not hungry." "Good, I was just about to pick something out of the pile, we'll share. How about a vole?" Jayfeather asks, "or perhaps a simple mouse..." "Fine, but-" Briarlight barges into the den. "Did someone say mouse?" She yelps. "I- you- fine, I'm going," Jayfeather hisses. He stalks out of the den and Briarlight bounces around [Y/W/N]s paws like a kit. "Today was amazing! Thank you!" "Of course, any time. I knew you could do it, Bri." Briarlight nudges her affectionately and circles in her nest, patiently waiting for Jayfeather to come back with the fresh-kill. [Y/W/N] dramatically flops in her and Jayfeathers nest. Briarlight hears the thud and cackles. Jayfeather comes back into the den with two mice dangling in his jaws. "Here," he manages to toss one at Briarlight. Of course, he misses, probably on purpose, and it nearly smacks her in the face, but she catches it in her mouth. "Thank you!" Briarlight meows throw a mouthful of fluff. "And here," more gracefully, Jayfeather trots over to [Y/W/N] and places it in front of her before similarly collapsing into their nest and crawling to take a bite of the kill. "Thanks, lazy furball." He meows something she couldn't understand as he chewed his prey. "I won't ask," [Y/W/N] mutters and joins him. Soon, they finish it, and their eyes droop. "Night, Briarlight!" [Y/W/N] yowled across the den. "Night!" She responded. "Great Starclan! I didn't need my ears, anyways, I'm already blind... Ugh." "Night, Jayfeather," [Y/W/N] whispers, and she passes out completely with him doing the same after her. "Night, idiot."