The Last Time

Like We Used To

To say you were surprised was an understatement.

If the past few years of your marriage was anything to go by, what you came home to was a rare sight. It had been such a long time since Mark had arrived home before you did and a long time since he had cooked a meal for you, so you put a great deal of effort in keeping your sadness about the impending end of your marriage hidden away in the furthest corner of your mind.

You would do anything in your power to ensure that you wouldn't ruin his efforts for tonight. Your marriage to him might be ending, but there was no need to be completely heartless towards him in the remaining time you had to spend with each other.

"What's all this?" you asked with a smile as you took off your shoes and hung up your coat. "It smells amazing."

"Mom's Carbonara," Mark turned to smile at you — of course he would cook your favourite dish. "It's almost done. I was hoping that this would be okay?"

"More than okay," you replied. "I'll go ahead and set the table for us."

Another surprise greeted you as the dinner progressed. Apart from the meal being far more delicious than you remembered, you found yourself conversing with Mark in a way that you hadn't for a long time. With the conversation flowing well, there was no awkwardness to be found, considering the events of the previous day.

However, one way or another, the elephant in the room needed to be addressed.

Once Mark had polished the food off of his plate, the mood in the room turned somber. With keen eyes, you watched as he sat there, gaze lowered to his hands that were running up and down his thigh — a telltale sign of his anxiety. A part of you wanted to reach out and comfort him, your hand almost crossing the length of the table before you could stop yourself, but you knew better than to give him a false sense of security.

With a sigh, your hand reached for your glass instead, finishing your wine before asking, "What's on your mind, Mark?"

Eventually, Mark looked up, his anxious eyes meeting your comforting ones. Taking a deep breath, he took courage in your gaze and voiced what he needed to. "I know that we're already divorcing," he paused, trying to calm his breathing. "But, I was wondering if it was okay for us to try and make the next few weeks as amicable as possible, because even though I'm losing you as my wife, I didn't want to lose you as my friend."

As his words struck home in your heart, making themselves comfortable there, you had to fight the urge to burst into tears right across from him. Of course, Mark was right. Before the both of you agreed to leap into what was meant to be a lifelong commitment, you had been friends for at least a decade — far longer than the amount of time you had spent married to each other.

There was no doubt in your mind that the divorce would tear your hearts to shreds, but that didn't mean that you had to completely lose each other in the process. Certainly, it could take years before you were ready to be Mark's friend again but you were sure that he was still going to be an integral part of your life, one way or another.

"I don't have any issues with that," you smiled wistfully.

"If that's the case, I was wondering how far you'd let me push it," Mark laughed then and you couldn't help but join him. You should've seen this coming.

"As long as I can have more wine, we can see how far I'd let you push."

Dutifully, Mark stood to grab another bottle from the fridge, complying with your request in the hopes that you would with his. Brushing past you as he headed back to his seat, your hand reached for his again, silently offering for him to take the seat next to you instead. Surprised, he sat down as you wanted, then grabbed his glass and filled it, along with yours.

"My first request is for us to still sleep in the same bed," Mark declared, hesitation ebbing away with the help of some liquid courage.

"Well, that's a given unless you plan on sleeping in the spare room," you retorted playfully as you sipped your wine.

"I guess that one was easy compared to this next request," Mark chuckled before turning serious. "If it's okay with you, I want us to try and do some of the things that we used to do."

"Consider my curiosity piqued. What does this mean exactly?"

"Over our last few weeks together, I'd like it if we were able to spend time with each other like we used to. Things like movie night and cooking night... oh, and let's not forget games night. I just— I just want to experience them again for the last time."

Looking up to his hopeful eyes was your first mistake, you realised that. It was swiftly followed by your second, when you found yourself wanting to agree with him. This was a dangerous situation to be in but for once, you wanted to be selfish.

These were the things that you should have already been doing and had missed out on for various reasons over the course of your marriage. Was it wrong to want to feel loved and cherished, just for you to lose everything at the end?

Maybe.

But, if you missed the chance to finally be happy after not knowing the feeling for so long, you knew that you would regret it for all of eternity. Even if the happiness would only be for a few weeks at best.

"I don't have any issues with that," you answered him and quickly added, "as long as you know that I still want that divorce. Mark, I don't want you to get your hopes up."

Too late, Mark thought to himself. "I know, I understand that part. I won't get my hopes up, I promise."

Mark always was a terrible liar... but so were you.