"Why?" (The Promised Neverland Fanfiction)

"Why?"

"Why?" was a question Ray often asked himself. For that every daunting situation that he was dreadfully placed upon he'd ask that same probing question. "Why?" The first time Ray remembered himself asking "Why?" was with his mother when he was about five or six, the time when he prematurely found out the secrets of the Orphanage and what was really taking place when the children were "supposedly" leaving with their new families. It tore him to pieces knowing that his own mother would allow such a thing to happen, having all those innocent and talented children residing in the abyss of unsatisfied beastly stomachs, it disgusted him. Ray then began to wonder; "Why did his mom give birth to him?" Heck to even call her a mom was a stretch, the woman was inhuman to allow such a monstrosity to pass. That innocent smile she wore everyday gnawed at his skin penetrating his comprehension to understand. Isabella answered his question with the bare excuse of "survival." If survival was the only thing worth anything then what was the point? "Why feed the children who had hope, to the demons? Why not those who've lost it, or never had it to begin with?" Children like him. Exactly like him, infact only him. If Ray could reverse the time, he would make it so he was the only meal for those slobby mucus balls and spare the hurt of his brothers and sisters. The look on Ray's face was painful to Isabella, but yet so sadistically pleasureful none-the- less. She smiled dangerously, letting her face fall into the shadow of darkness and spoke the words that would silence her doubtful son. "Ray." She bent down to the cowering boy, and whispered something that sent shivers down his spine. "Do you understand?" Ray nodded carefully and took a few hasty breaths in and out. "Now, what will it be, Ray?" Isabella hummed. "It's completely up to you. Will you be mommy's little spy and be a good boy or will you serve every other child's grotesque fate laying on the dinnerplate of a Demon's table?" He tensed shaking his shaggy hair over his green eyes, he couldn't, not anymore. No more would he let them die in front of him crying screams of mercy. "Mother'', Ray huffed diabolically "I- accept your proposal, I shall work as your spy." Isabella's violet eyes shined with approval and the side of her lip curled up into a knowing smile. "Very well then Ray, it will be a pleasure to begin working with you." "As the same." Ray responed. Ray had something planned, as for what it was Isabella hadn't a clue, though it was certainly going to be enticing.

As the years went on, more lives were lost due to the slow process in successfullness. But everyday seemed as if Ray was one step closer. He counted the lives gone since that day him and Isabella had spoken. There were twelve children to die. He'd almost given up on several occasions. A task that was falling under the bus too many times, but he still tried and continued to ask, "Why?" Until the last and final straw, where it was Norman's end. Tears fell shamelessly down Ray's face uncontrollable as one after another slowly started drowing him in the pain, sorrow, and guilt bestowed in him. The gasoline soaked him as he swallowed the heavy lump in his throat eagerly. His breath begin to slow and the tears ceasing to a less than humanly look on his face. He'd ask himself "Why?'' One more time as he closed his eyes waiting for the pain to slowly trickle down his arm and enlighten his senses. "Bye Bye, Emma", he opened his foggy eyes to the small speck of fire wavering from the match. "Why?"