Just As I Thought

5. "A Beat of Heartache"

[ F e b r u a r y ]

Nothing much happened on Valentine's Day. Just like an ordinary day for me. I just celebrated with my friends at Hobson's Café.

And so end of February is approaching. That means, the most awaited event in highschool is about to come. A Junior-Senior (JS) Prom. We are the Juniors and my sister's batch were the Seniors. We are both going to prom. I am so excited. It is my first time to experience wearing a ball gown, heels, wearing make-up and accessories, and dancing in a slow music. Thinking of it makes me a bit chilled. It was so romantic and yet, I have no one to dance with. I have no one to share this wonderful night with. I am now asking myself, what if no one will ask me to dance with them? What if they are all dancing and I am just sitting on my chair alone? What if all the girls are asked to dance with the boys but not me? That would be so embarassing.

Tonight, I am resting in my bed thinking about the things we have to accomplish in just two days. We are so tired practicing our Rigodon de Honor dance and some of the highlights of our night. We are busy arranging the needs to be done like the invitations, candles, flower wrist bands, souvenirs, sashes, trophies, crowns, etc. All of these things were in charged to us, Juniors. I am about to sleep but suddenly...

*** Phone beeps ***
(1 Message Received)

Rhys: Good eve. You still awake?

Me: No, already asleep while textin'...

Rhys: Haha! Very funny!

Me: Just kidding! What's up?

Rhys: Wandering if I could ask you to dance with me?

(That sounds like a good music to my ears. That's what I love to hear.)

Me: Why not?

Rhys: Something just bothers me...

Me: What is it?

Rhys: If Kent finds out that I have danced with you, he could be mad at me.

Me: Why would he? We're over. He already has a girlfriend. He doesn't care about me anymore. So I could dance with whoever I want to.

Rhys: Yeah. But for me, it's still not right. You are his ex-girlfriend. I have to respect that. I don't want him to think that I am being insensitive.

Me: I don't get what you mean. But if you say so, what's the point of you texting me?

Rhys: I just wanna know, if he allowed me to dance with you, will you dance with me?

Me: Of course! What kind of a question is that, you are my brother.

(He didn't reply afterwards)

I've waited for his message but he didn't respond. Until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I saw his message. It was delivered last night but I didn't get a chance to read it 'coz I fell asleep.

Rhys: I already asked him. And he said it's fine. So reserve a dance for me, okay?

I didn't text back 'coz I've just woke up and I need to prepare for school today. Atleast everything's clear now. Tomorrow is the big night. I've never been this excited.

[ P r o m  N i g h t ]

I am with Janica Topaz, Faye Valentin, and Abegail Valentin, my bff's. We were taking pictures with each other when someone approached me and said, "can I have a picture with you?" Who am I to say no? We've been together for 10 months, I guess that's enough to respect each other. After all, I missed him. I love to see Kent again, tonight. Even I know that he's just here for his cousins, Rhys and Beatriz. Atleast he didn't hesitate to approach me. Did he miss me too? Do I look attractive to him, just for tonight? Well, it doesn't matter anyways.

The event is about to start and we are asked to form our queues for the entrance. My partner for Rigodon de Honor is Marcus. Remember my ex-boyfriend, yes we are friends. Really great friends. I think that's just the way it is. We are better together if we're just friends. So he's the one who tied my flower band into my wrist and we danced. It was a smooth night. But not in the part where the girls have to ask their dads to dance with them and the boys asked their moms to do the same. We, the students who has no parent to dance with just went to the powder room. And from there, we cried. Me and my sister just went out of the dance floor knowing that our father isn't present 'coz he's working abroad.

It's not just a simple dance with your father in a prom. It's like, missing all of the important events we had in school, awarding of our honor certificates, awarding their plaque as Parents of the Year, contests, dances, our graduations, and even in our personal lives, our birthdays. He's not present most of the time. It hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts seeing them dancing with their dads. It hurts seeing them walking up the stage with their dads. It hurts seeing them receiving their awards handed by their dads. It hurts seeing them as a complete family in a picture while blowing their birthday cakes. I envy them a lot. They are very lucky. But I understand. Everything that our dad is doing, is for the best. For all of us.