My interest intensifies and I try
Not to show it ,
But the cracks keep opening up ,
And shedding a light to my situation.
I've never truly been stable or happy enough ,
But I found a form of it in you
Self created , synthetic joy
That only lasts for so long ,
It's like a drug .
Never self sustaining but fuelled
By my need to feel
My need to need you ,
But you don't want me.
So I pack my scatter brained thoughts and emotions
Into a little box .
Retreating with my tail between my legs ,
In pure and utter shame .
The worse part is I still get goosebumps when I hear your name ,
Or think of the time we spent ,
It was heaven ,for a brief moment I was okay .
But I guess it ended for you the minute you had your way.
