Emotions

have you ever

Have you ever felt like a robot, sometimes I feel like I dont feel and that I dont feel emotions I show them sometimes i wonder how it would be if i could remove the part of me that feels pain and wonder if that would make me happier or more sad and start experimenting with stuff to see if i could feel pain and i wonder if there was no pain would i still feel happy or loss or worried i wonder if all i am is just a joke and i wonder if sometimes my friends talk about me behind there back or only use me when they have no one else i wonder if i wasnt born at all if the world would be different if my friends would still act the same if the people in my life would still be in the same position I wonder if at my early age I have made a difference I wonder if the world would change if I wasnt here I wonder how many people would miss me If I wasnt here, I wonder if were all robots sometimes with pre programmed feelings of how we should feel in situations I wonder if what people show when they see someone hurt is how they truly feel or they showing that emotion because that's what society want, i dont know but all I know is sometimes I wake up with nothing in my head I go through days with out a single thought and when I do it's either something that would scare people or make them sad all i know is i show emotion but i dont feel emotion i think i have bottled up for to long and i show people what they want to see I dont know the true me I am scared that I wont be me ever again I am afraid that I am not alone in this situation and wonder how many people out there arnt feeling because those people are the most dangerous if a person dosent have emotions how do you know there actions are pure. I dont know anymore I feel like no matter what I do it's not good enough for society and that everybody has this big dream of what I can do when in reality I dont know what I can do. I wonder if I got put on this pedestal that is to high and that if I fall I wont be able to climb back up I feel that if I fail I will be seen as less that no matter what I do I either not be true to myself and show people what they want or be true to myself and disappoint the ones that love me the most.