Parlay || Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

Chapter 10: Parlay

The night air ruffled (Y/N)'s hair soothingly. She stared out at the city lights in wide-eyed wonder.

Kuroo's shoes shuffled against the concrete rooftop as he shuffled to her side and leaned against the rail. "I've lived in Tokyo my whole life. I used to hate that you could never see the stars around here, but... I think the city lights are a different kind of beautiful, don't you think?"

In the bright moonlight, the girl's face glowed with amazement. The Tokyo skyline was something she could only dream of as a young girl growing up in rural Miyagi prefecture. Even then, her greatest wish was to attend university in the big city. That dream was the whole reason she had been studying so hard from the start, and she got what she wanted. At Tokyo U, it felt like she could pursue whatever her heart desired, even if that, too, was problematic for her.

"I've been wanting to see a sight like this since I moved to Tokyo," she rounded on him with a look of sincerity, "Thank you for bringing me here, Tetsurou. It's perfect."

His heart beat louder in his chest. Suddenly, the cool night air was much too warm for his burning face.

(Y/N) started again, "And I love this garden, too." She gestured all around them at the empty pots and planters. "Even if there aren't any flowers, I like this setup. There's nothing here yet, but that just means there's infinite possibilities for what could be here, right?"

The tension in Kuroo's shoulders faded away almost completely.

"I was thinking," he moved close enough for their shoulders to brush each other's, "I think..." He paused again. Damn this was hard.

"Some things. Some plants. Grow."

'Okay, Tetsurou. Good start. You got this.'

Gaze flickering over to his companion's, encouragement filled him when he found her nodding at him to continue.

The tall young man took a deep breath, "This garden doesn't have plants in it because the plants aren't in season. They're real pretty, but stuff only grows when it's time for it to do so... because it's not ready."

He rubbed his shoulder in discomfort. It was becoming too much for him and he looked away from her, only for her to use a gentle hand on his cheek to return his focus to her.

"So," she said gently, "Would you say these plants are still out of season? Or do you think spring is on its way?"

Who else could understand his jumbled mess of a monologue like she could? Kuroo was grateful for the way she could understand him, jumbled and anxious as he was. He sighed and took her hand.

"I'm sorry, being poetic isn't really my thing. I need to suck it up and be straightforward with you. I want to be with you, (Y/N), I really do. I can't tell you how much I would love to hold your hand and take you on sappy dates and give you my jersey to wear at my games and just think to myself how lucky I am to have someone like you by my side. I think about doing all those things constantly enough to where it's become a serious issue, but..." he ran a hand down his face in frustration, "I don't know if I'm ready. Whenever I see you with Oikawa or with whoever, I just think about how you could be a great partner for anyone, so it's hard for me to understand why you would choose me. It's not that I think you're shallow. At all. It's me. It's me thinking I'm not good enough to be worthy of being by your side."

(Y/N) stared at him with rapt attention and something else Kuroo could've sworn was surprise, "Tetsurou... I had no idea you felt that way. I mean, when you're not around me, you always seem so confident."

"I-- Ugh, I don't know. When I'm with my team, I'm thinking about so many different things. With them, as a leader-type, I'm concerned about them and their needs. When I'm with you, you're all a think about. Then I have time to be insecure about all that crap."