Morby One-Shots

The Matchmaker

"Aren't you a little young to be in here? Your boyfriend is a little irresponsible." The said, speaking at the perfect volume so that Rigby could hear. 

"Boyfriend?" Rigby shouted. 

"Yeah, the bird with the blue hair, right?". Rigby fumed slightly. "You should probably leave soon. Things usually get pretty crazy within the next hour." The man suggested.

"Shut your mouth! I'm 19, and my 'boyfriend'-" Rigby mocked, gesturing towards his best friend "Is younger than me!".
Rigby heard the man laughing to himself as he stomped away towards the disabled bathroom, the sign turning to occupied behind him. Mordecai witnessed this, and swiftly followed him, trying to be discreet as he knocked on the door.

"Rigby, what happened?" he asked through the wood. He heard an annoyed grunt and several loud crashes from inside the bathroom. Rigby was no doubt trashing the place. Mordecai quickly pulled a quarter out of his pocket and unlocked the door with it, pushing it open to see his friend thrashing about on the floor, throwing toilet paper around like a madman. "Dude! Calm down!" He shouted while trying to restrain his friend before he could cause any more  property damage. Finally, Mordecai managed to pin Rigby's arms down by his sides, stopping his pointless flailing so he could talk to him. He waited a few seconds for Rigby to compose himself before speaking. "What happened, dude?".

"Jerk thought I was your little pet boyfriend or some shit." Rigby fumed, repressing as much of his rage as possible. Mordecai smiled and let out a little laugh. "What?".

"When you think about it, that makes sense." He replied "We're two guys, almost the same age, similarly awful fashion sense, and we both just stroll into a gay bar on a Saturday night?".

"What's wrong with my fashion sense?" Rigby asked genuinely oblivious to how funny Mordecai found his 'Now The Party Can Start' shirt.

"Never mind, forget I said anything.". There was a brief moment of silence before Mordecai got off of Rigby and dusted himself off. "Now - are you gonna go back out there and get yourself laid or what?" He said, a dumb grin on his face. Rigby went slightly red in the face before he straightened himself out. He peeked put of the door before rushing out quickly, a new-found determination to get laid driving him on.

In the 5 minutes they spent in there, it was like 5 hours had passed outside. There was now a large queue forming outside the bathroom, and the annoying rave music seemed to have become even louder, if that was at all possible. Rigby once again made his way towards the flashing lights of the dance floor, slightly more intimidated this time due to his previous experience. He spotted another man; a brunette who stood at a short height. Still more than 1 foot taller than him, but it was much less intimidating. He made his way through the crowd until he stood just behind the man. After tapping him on the shoulder, the man turned around, looking confused before casting his glance downwards towards the raccoon.

"Oh." He said "Nice shirt.". Rigby's cheeks turned immediately red at the compliment. 

"Really?" He said, wanting to confirm that he could rub this in Mordecai's face later.

"No." The man said simply. Rigby's heart sank at the realisation that he had been had. 

"And your face doesn't look very striking either." The man added. Rigby felt like ha had been punched in the gut, maybe even had his heart ripped out and stomped on too. 

"Thanks." Rigby said, turning around and walking back through the crowd, not bothering to put on his fake tough-guy posture any more.

Mordecai saw the raccoon looking defeated as he made his way out of the crowd again. He took it upon himself to make sure that the mammal didn't walk into anyone and made his way over to him. He managed to stop him just before he made it out the door, placing a hand on his shoulder.