Our Story
I never wanted to have to retell our story. Not even to our kids. And since we never got there, it would seem fate was on our side...or so we thought.
Did you see it coming? because I certainly didn't. we went from dancing on the deserted, dimly lit streets of downtown Chicago Illinois, to just two cement head stones on a well-trimmed green lawn.
Let's go back to where it all started shall we... the very beginning. As you well recall, we were sitting under a chestnut tree in my back yard. And as per usual. We had our glasses of homemade ginger beer. I can easily say that we've had a lot of moments similar to this one. Just us, talking about nothing, dreaming of the endless possibilities, all without the slightest care in the world. But this time was different. only because it was possibly the last opportunity, we would get to do this. Just being there with each other, engulfed in such a strong feeling of unity, of love.
What could we have done? Somethings are just inevitable right? It was all going to happen eventually, we just didn't want to admit it to ourselves. I was going to college and you were moving to Germany to live and work with your dad. we were going to break up, go our separate ways, both find other people and move on inevitable.
Like so many others, we said we would keep in touch, save up some money and get to see each other. Surprisingly, even to us, it worked. We had a joint savings account, the money started adding up to an amount that made sense. The apartments we looked at online seemed perfect for the two of us. So perfect that we actually saw it coming together. We had a plan. But then again. Doesn't everyone?
As time went on. I stayed in touch with your sister. You didn't know this but every time you had nightmares, she would tell me. You always said that it was nothing. That you were just tired, but I could hear it in your voice. the brokenness, the fear. When we were just across the street from each other it was much easier. You would call at any time of the night, and I could come over. If I'm being honest, those were my favorite times of us together. I loved how we could sit there for hours and just talk. It still felt special when we didn't speak. It felt even more intimate when we didn't say a word to each other. there was more said in those moments of silence than all the conversations in all the world. I miss those times. I always wished I could have an abundance of them. and I do. but this isn't how I would have wanted to have gotten them. Just saying.
After about a year of this back and forth. Reality started to settle in. The phone calls shortened, then stopped. The texts stopped having any meaning, or relevance. There were times when my heart would flutter just at the sight of your name popping up on the screen. Things became really tense for about a month. Then, I decided enough was enough. I was coming to see you. it was going to happen anyway, why not now. Come hell come highwater, we were going to make this right.
My nerves only kicked in when I landed in Germany. Your sister came to pick me up. She sounded odd on the phone. And the moment I saw her, it was confirmed. Something was wrong. Whether it was with her or with you I was yet to find out. It was risky coming, but I knew if I didn't that, you an i as a couple would crash and burn until there was nothing left but ash. It took us about thirty minutes to get to the apartment where you and Emily were staying. Her boyfriend took my bags and I followed them up the stairs. As the door opened, my heart rate started to increase. Was I prepared for what was coming next? Could we salvage what was? Could we go back to being...us? Or, had it all gone to hell. Were we broken beyond repair?
You weren't home. I should have known. It was a stupid idea going there in the first place. I should have waited, maybe things would have fixed themselves. Maybe we could have made it work if we really tried. all these possibilities clouding my mind faded away the minute I saw you. At least it looked like you. We hugged, then had dinner. I don't think I've ever felt so far away from someone I was sitting right next to. eventually, the ordeal ended. Emily went to bed and her boyfriend left. It was just you and me. The way it should be. Except, this wasn't us. We sat next to each other on the couch to watch a movie the way we used to. Your arm around me, my head on your chest. usually, that would be my favorite place to be, but right then, I wish I could have been anywhere else.
Half the movie drug on and I couldn't stand the tension in the air any longer. Sitting up from where I was, I looked you in the eye. I knew it was worse than I thought when you didn't turn your head to look at me. holding your chin and gently turning your head... our eyes met. Finally... hope. I've always loved your eyes, the stories they told. They still do. How I'm always able to tell when you're hiding something. When you're happy they twinkle slightly... still to this day, I have never seen eyes as warm as yours. But this time. They were cold, distant, hurt... hurting. We got off the couch to talk. Sitting at the kitchen island for what seemed like just 45 minutes, we talked the entire night. By the time it was 5 AM, the sun rose to find those warm, brown, shinning eyes.
It didn't take long for us to make our travel plans to Chicago. It was holiday time after all, and this was always the endgame. In a week, we were on a flight to Illinois. I'll never forget that day, that night. how could I?
We had just enough time to get to the hotel, shower, change and head across the street to make our reservation for dinner. I can still remember how we looked. You, were in a navy-blue tux with a matching tie. I let you pick my dress from two options. One, was long, floor length. A matte black off shoulder number with a white satin bow tied just above the waist line. Option two was a knee length red, sweetheart neck lined dress with a sky-blue belt. Honestly, I don't know why I even bothered asking... I should have known you would go for the red number.
Dinner, was phenomenal. You ordered the chicken schnitzel with creamed mash potatoes and veggies. I had a mac and cheese-bake with steak on a bed of asparagus. We were absolutely stuffed. After proceeding to sit at the booth for another two hours, we chose to let the waiters go home and left the restaurant. We then decided that we needed to go dancing to shed all this food off.
After looking for a dance club near us for at least twenty minutes it was concluded that everything was closed. But that didn't stop us. If there was nowhere to dance that had music, we would still dance, who needs music anyway.
You lead me into the middle of the street. The love in your eyes was almost overwhelming. If it wasn't for you holding me so closely, I may not have been standing for much longer. The street lights were so dim that all I could see, was you... I didn't mind. And we swayed to nothing but the sound of your voice speaking softly into my ear, lost in each other. Completely and utterly consumed with certainty, safety, trust, and love. I would spend a thousand nights here, being held in your arms. There's no place I would have rather have been.
It was you and I, the way it should have been, the way it all began. Just the two of us in each other's arms. Then, the last thing I remember, was this intense light against my eyelids that made me open my eyes. I felt no pain when we were hit. Just you.
Now we're here, with a perfect view from above...retelling our story.
