𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗮
" didn't I tell you not to stay out late " I rolled my eyes at my mothers voice
" coming In the house at fuckin eleven am like that's cute "
" Mary it's not that deep " she looked at me muggin me for a second before yelling again
" it is that fuckin deep what if some thing happened to you when you were out there doing whatever the fuck you were doing "
" stop acting like you actually care " she laughed at what I said before speaking
" you right I don't give a fuck yo ass gone end up dead just like yo fuckin brother or In jail like yo ain't shit ass daddy " I kept the same blank expression on my face
I was use her at this point she'd tell me how Imma end up like my daddy and how she shoulda aborted me . In a couple hour she gonna come I my room give me a half ass apology and expect everything to go back to normal. And every time I would tell her I forgive her
But as time went on and I got older and the words she said stuck with me. Her words bothered me even though I didn't want them to. As time went on I grew animosity towards her what did I do to her for her to treat me like this when she ain't never say that shit to my sister .
" get the fuck out of my face " she pushed past me breaking me out of my train of thoughts
I walked into my room opening the pharmacy bag taking the anti-depressant out . I held the pill in my hand for a second before throwing it in my mouth picking up a bottle of water of my dresser pouring some in my mouth swallowing the pill .
I sighed sitting on my bed letting the feeling of numbness fill my body. Even though my body felt numb it was like my mind was at war fighting itself. I had no reason to cry I was use to it but yet still I wanted to do nothing more than cry my eyes out
I laid flat on back staring at the ceiling feeling the tear well up in my eyes
" pill don't even fuckin work " I said wiping the tears as more fell
The tears just kept coming as all her word clouded my mind no matter how hard I tried to think of something else all I could see all I could hear all there was was her word . I sat up grabbing the bottle taking another pill dry letting the tears fall from my eyes as I laid against my pillow crying silently
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I turned in my sleep feeling someone tap me
" tasia " I looked up at my mother standing at the end of my bed
" I'm sorry work has been stressing me out lately I shouldn't have took it out on you "
" it's okay mom " she smiled coming over and hugging me
She walked out of my room and I just sat there staring at the wall
" why do you hate me " I asked looking up at the sky
I laughed bitterly laying back down trying to go back to sleep
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I woke up and looked at the time on my phone 6:17 am . I had to get up for school in 12 minutes might as well get up now I sighed
I got up walking into my bathroom taking a shower and brushing my teeth before fixing my hair and getting dressed
I walked into the living room contemplating whether or not I wanted to eat breakfast
" nah " I walked out side and sat in my car for a minute before driving off
I looked at my phone as I stopped at the light by my school 7:12
I pulled into the plaza in front desk f my school and parked cause who paying seventy dollars for a parking spot . Not I
I decided to go into the corner store and grab some shit for lunch cause I'm not eatin that nasty ass school food
" wassup " I said to the clerk jj
I grabbed a bag of sour patch and a Kit Kat before grabbing a bag of salt & vinegar chips then I started looking for a Fanta
I heard the door open but I was to busy staring In the fridge trying to find the pineapple Fanta
I smiled as I finally found it that shit was hidden all the way at the bottom. I walked back up to the front of the store before stopping seeing sincere and his friend from the other night
" sin " I said
He turned around and hugged me
" of course yo fat ass would be here " I just flipped him off trying not to drop my Kit Kat
His friend turn around and looked at me before taking everything out my hand putting it on the counter
" put that on it to " he told jj
" thank you " I spoke quietly
" no problem " he grabbed his bag walking out side
I grabbed my bag and walked outside with my bag son right behind me
" I'll see you in third period " I said as we walked into school
" ight " he nodded
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