Sliced Hearts | Solby ✔︎

Chapter // 16: Misery

C o l b y ' s P.O.V

It's been weeks alone and sad. Occasionally with Jacob and Brennen but it was mostly alone. Mrs. Golbach had met a decent man named Dr. Henry McCoy, a Doctor at a local doctors' clinic who had to check my nose out after my drunk night at the bar. In all honesty, I didn't care what happened to me anymore. I felt miserable as it is and pain was just an add up to it.

Mrs. Golbach had caught the eye of the doctor, which was a little uncomfortable but sweet, and after a few weeks he had finally asked her out to dinner. She was hesitant, worried about leaving us home alone but I had assured her not to be. The last thing I need is stripping people chances to love too. Or possibly be in a relationship with someone they really like.

Brennen has been hanging around more often, laying off the booze occasionally, and taking care of both Jacob and I when needed to. It was now that I had realized how good of a friend Brennen really is. He might be a drunk lunatic at times but he's a good person at heart.

The situation between Sam and I was laid off of for now. Sam had been calling me and struggling to get a hold of me for the past week but I never gave in. I didn't have the heart to hear his voice again, it would just break me more. I wasn't brave enough to face him, knowing the situation would only get worse.

But not holding him in my arms was more than enough to leave me depressed. To have the love of my life laying by me. To have him love me like I loved him. I thought back to my past self before I met Sam and the trap house. I was a dick and an utter asshole. I couldn't even understand what Sam saw in me. And I couldn't help but think this was just payback.

Payback for all the wrong doings I had committed.

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After spending the day isolating myself from everyone else, I made my way down the stairs and into the living room where Brennen and Jacob were seated. Jacob was sleeping peacefully and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I haven't been much of a sport around him and I couldn't imagine all the things he wanted to do at the moment but couldn't because of me.

I wanted to make him smile. I wanted him to know how much I cared for him. I wanted him to know he meant everything. But I then realized I wanted Sam to know that, I wanted Sam to know how badly I love him, how badly he meant to me, and how badly I wanted to see him smile. To know I was the reason he smiled again.

"Hey, man. How you holding up?" Brennen asked with a sigh, dropping his phone and running a hand through his hair. I plopped down beside him and stared at my hands. The hands I wanted tangled with Sam's. "I'm still breathing. So I guess you can say I'm doing fine." I shrugged in attempt to joke, unsuccessfully.

"Look, Colby, I'm no expert in love and that shit but if there's one thing I know, is that whoever has your heart out there has made a mistake. And somehow, I believe you had too. Everyone makes mistakes but a relationship as strong as any bond can be, can never be broken so easily." I never saw Brennen as the deep type of guy.

But somehow I found myself rethinking his words. Did I mess up too? I did intentionally, I have to admit, insult Sam and his so-called boyfriend. Maybe that was wrong of me but how do you expect me to 'chill out' with another man all over the love of my life. Even if it wasn't right, I wanted Sam all to myself.

"What am I supposed to do, Brennen? I lost him forever." I shook my head, not caring that the secret was out. I didn't see Brennen as a homophobe really but even if he was, I wouldn't care. "You did not. Again, I'm no expert, but maybe you just need to talk things out. Hey, it's your call and all but for now, I think you need the rest."

"Get some sleep, Colby." Brennen patted my shoulder, standing up and walking off to leave me with my thoughts.

But I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. I wanted to be with Sam.