Help Me || A Remus Lupin Love Story

Chapter 8

James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter always visited me on the weekends, but, even though I appreciated it, they weren't the ones I really wanted to see. And they knew that. So I pushed them away as the nightmares continued, whispering one single thing to the doctors who were trying to help me: "I want Him."

Eventually the doctors came to the conclusion that it had affected me mentally. So they put a binding charm around me and the bed to keep me from harming myself or others, not realizing what the contaminated claws had really done to me. It was killing me. From the inside out. Every time I ate something I threw it up. The doctors didn't notice because they had gotten the sheets and my clothes to clean themselves so I didn't have to get up for anything.

It wasn't long before you could see the bones under my skin and my skin getting pale, but still, doctors didn't notice. My friends did though. They wanted to get me out of there, but they couldn't. Sure they knew how to unbind me, but they were afraid I'd snap like a twig, that's how thin I was.

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"We brought you some Honeydukes candy!" James said cheerfully, walking through the door. I smiled a little bit, turning my head to look at them. "I appreciate the thought guys, but you know what will happen if I eat." They nodded and sat down.

"Is He coming today?" I asked. They shook their heads. "Sorry," Lily said, "Remus," I winced at this, "doesn't want to see you." I looked down at the white sheets. That was the answer every weekend. It hurt to know that He, the one who had cheered me up and cared for me, didn't even want to look at my face anymore.

"But it's not your fault." James quickly added. I glared at him. "Isn't it? I mean, if I'd never gotten those bad grades, it wouldn't be like this. If I hadn't run away, it wouldn't be like this. If I was smart enough to just kill myself-" "No." Lily interrupted me. "You will not say that. You are worth all this pain and sorrow. Without you, my life would be meaningless. I don't want to here those words come out of your mouth ever again, understand me?" I nodded. It fell into an awkward silence until Sirius stood up and left and so did the others. All except for Peter.

"Moony really misses you, you know." I smiled a little bit. "Really?" He nodded. "Really. He doesn't mean to put you through this. He would come and see you, but he's afraid." "Afraid of what?" "Afraid that he'll lose you. He doesn't want to see your face because he doesn't want to remember how sad you were and are right now if you die. He only wants the happy memories."

I was surprised to hear that come out of the usually quiet Peter's mouth, but it was really nice of him to tell me instead of leaving me in the dark like the others did. "Thanks, Peter." He smiled. "No problem." Then he got up and ran out the door after the others. Sometimes I feel bad for Peter. The others really only see him as there. He hardly ever gets any say, and I wanted to change that.