Far From Lonely

I Guess it's Okay

We must have fallen asleep together, because when I woke up the next morning, I was in Gerard's arms and he was still sleeping. I was ok with it though, I wasn't going to complain. He's surprisingly warm and really nice to snuggle with. He eventually woke up and I blushed, looking away from him. 
"Berty!" he mumbled tiredly, a wide and sleepy smile on his face. 
"Morning Gee, did you sleep well" 
"Yep! How are you feeling?" 
"I'm doing better Gee, thank you for letting me spend the night." 
"No problem bud, don't feel like you have to leave soon either, cause I really like having you here" 
"I like being here" I said and snuggled closer to him. He smiled and held me close, showing that he wasn't going to let me go anytime soon.
"I'm glad you're here" he hummed softly to me, gently petting my hair. 
"Me too" I snuggle closer to him and he smiles. We stay like this for the majority of the day, no cares in the world except for when my ex called me. I hesitantly answer the phone, sitting up which caused Gerard to whine. 
"Berty, hun, where were you last night. I was running a little late and when I got to the restaurant you weren't there. I would have called you, but my phone was dead." 
"Save it... You ass dialed me last night... you were only running late because you were busy fucking someone else. We're through...." I don't even give her time to respond before I hang up and turn my phone off, laying back down next to Gerard who was looking up at me with sad, concerned eyes. I just shake my head and snuggle him again. He sighs and kisses my forehead, something that he did occasionally, only when he wanted to tell me something or to let me know he cared. It was always a friendly gesture with nothing behind it besides the aforementioned reasons.
"Berty, I'm here for you"  
"I know you are Gee, I appreciate it." I take hold of his hand, anyone else would think that we were more than friends, but that simply was not true. Yes, I love Gee. Saying that I didn't love him as more than a friend would be a lie; he's always been there for me. I was in love with my ex and I don't know if I can say that I'm in love with Gerard, but I do love him nonetheless. He kisses my forehead once more and I sigh in content. I relax in his arms, just letting him comfort me. 
"Berty?" 
"Yes Gee?" 
"Would you be mad if I kissed you?" 
"I mean didn't you just kiss me?" 
"N-no, I mean like on the lips... no homo though," he bites his lip and I tilt my head a little in confusion.  
"Is there a reason?" 
"Not really... you know what it was stupid, forget I-" I cut him off by gently pressing my lips against his and it doesn't take him long to react. I don't know why I kissed him, I guess it's because I'm so heartbroken and sad that I felt that this could make me feel better, it did... well sort of. I quickly break the kiss and pull away from Gerard a bit. 
"Bert... is everything ok? You look scared... did I scare you? Are you mad?" 
"Gee, calm down, everything is fine... I just don't want this right now, you did nothing wrong, I kissed you... I just don't want you to be just a rebound... my emotions are fucked and I know that you said that there wasn't any reason behind the kiss, and I liked it more than anything, but I'm afraid of hurting you Gee, I don't want to make any decisions, only for me to end up just hurting you more in the end." 
"Hey, Bert, look at me," he gently hooks a finger under my chin and gently pulls my face so I'm looking at him. He then rests a hand on my cheek. "I'm not going to be a rebound if you don't want me to be, but remember, I too just got out of a long term relationship. It wasn't because she cheated on me, it's because I've slowly been falling for you. Hate me if you want, but I just can't hold it in any longer... I'm sorry that it had to come out like this, and I'm not trying to confuse you or pressure you into anything, I want you to take your time to find yourself and fix yourself, but know that I'll be here for you every step of the way." 
I couldn't gather my thoughts quick enough and I kiss him again, this time longer than the last one. What was I doing? I don't want to end up playing him like she played me.