the narrator is death in this story - based on the book thief.
AU SUMMARY
It's 2012, and Loki has been arrested for his part in the attack on New York, the murder of hundreds worldwide, and attempted invasion of Earth. He's a villain. He's a killer. He's a thief. His eyes are hard and his heart is cold. He's the opposite of the heroes who captured him - but Loki has met Natasha before.
Take them back to 2002 to a younger Loki, bitter with the world but not so bitter as he is now, a younger Loki who believes in freedom and equality as much as the older Loki believes in fascism and subjugation. Take them back to a younger Loki, whose eyes are kind and whose heart is kinder, a younger Loki that somebody like Natasha could fall in love with. And in spite of it all, in spite of the darkness and hatred and twisted thoughts that live in Loki now, a part of him will live forever on the summer-soaked Californian highways ... with her ...
It's remembered by the both of them. Late night drives across America, getting drunk and living wild and young. Kisses in the darkness and splashing in the sea, dancing in nightclubs and late nights in motels. Little things. Eventually falling apart when Natasha's assassin work got out of control and Loki's descent into darkness, fuelled with drugs and addictions, began. Eventually falling apart and leading Natasha to handing Loki over to the authorities after his crimes got too much, eventually leading to Natasha joining S.H.I.E.L.D to ensure she'd never become as twisted as he became. 2002, the sweetest and most devastating year of both of their lives.
Back to 2012. Once again, he's behind bars, and she's switched to the other side. Loki wants to hate her. He wants to hate her so much. He tells himself that all they ever had was over, that he's not that stupid boy in love anymore. He tells himself this, but he still loves her. He loves her because she's all he's ever had, the first and only person that made him feel worthwhile.
Natasha's just trying to forget it all. Her heart misses him but now she's falling in love with Bruce Banner and Loki's something she has to forget. Only when she kisses Bruce, he's all she can think of, and she's almost wishing it was him there instead of Bruce. Maybe Natasha just can't handle love. She has to break it off with Bruce. It's driving her insane.
Fast forward a little more. Loki's mother dies. Loki's depression gets out of control. He aids Thor against the evil Dark Elves - maybe he's found it in his heart to do good again? Or maybe not, maybe not, maybe all he wants is to be the golden king sitting in his throne, breaking the hearts of his brother and his father and everyone who ever cared about him. But didn't somebody break his heart once, too, long ago?
He misses her, but he'll stop longing for her. She'll always live with him, but now he's got to move on.
Natasha's got her own troubles. There's the struggle with Hydra to consider, and the growing tensions between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. She only has time for Loki in dreams, or broken-down deja-vu. He's her ghost, but he's growing fainter by the day. Is this how it feels to heal? They're growing older, they're leaving more of themselves in the past. Smaller details grow blurred - the colour of Natasha's hair in the California sun, the way Loki's eyes looked in the gas light under the stars. The feeling of skin on skin, the feeling of being so young, so hopelessly in love.
Time passes. Loki's got enough on his mind as his plans are exposed and he's pitted against his evil adopted sister, Hela. Only now, maybe Loki's finding it in his heart to do good again. Maybe now he and Thor can find it within themselves to forget everything and be at peace. Maybe Loki's tired of war and love and pain and now all he wants is a brother, a friend - and after the war with Hela, maybe it's possible ... maybe ...
No one expects Thanos. No one can expect anything like that. Loki's one of the only survivors of the Asgardian massacre by Thanos's hands, and it seems like the universe will always be pitted against him. There will never be solstice for the God of Mischief. His brother has died, and all he wants is Thanos dead before he dies too, and rests forever. That's all Loki wants. To rest. His heart is so tired.
YOU ARE READING
loki's romanoff
Fanfiction(AU) - part II If Loki and Natasha were something once, there's nothing left between them any longer. They're strangers, they're allies. They're nothing more. But he can't pretend that he doesn't feel a slight twinge in his chest every time he sees...
