Your Natural Hatred

Chapter 3

He rubbed my shoulder before pulling away again.

"I just hope that my Frank isn't scared, too," I said before a sudden thought came to my head. "What if I was in a coma after getting hit by a car and this is just my dream."

"Sound theory," Ray said. "But I'm real, a real human being. I'm not just a factor of your dream."

"That's exactly what a factor of my dream would say," I said.

I sighed in frustration, slapping myself.

"Okay, buddy, calm down now," he said.

"I need to wake up, none of this can be real," I said.

"You broke your wrist, it's obviously real," he said.

"It's not broken, just sprained," I muttered.

"So you have to be careful," he said. "You can't just go jumping out windows or in front of cars. This is all real and you will get seriously hurt. And if you get too hurt then you may never be able to get back to your own world. You may never be able to get back to your Frank."

I nodded, trying to stay calm by taking a few deep breaths. I had to continue to think rationally and calmly. Everything had to be done perfectly to get back to my own world, to get back to my Frank. But what did I have to do was the question.

"What if I get stuck here?" I asked.

"I would help you adjust," he said. "We're friends now, I'll help you. And you might not be able to get Frank but maybe you can find some other boy who's gay to fall in love with."

"I don't want another boy," I said. "I only want Frank. He's the love of my life."

"If you get stuck here, you may have no other choice," Ray said. "But I'm going to get you back to your world. I believe in the multiverse and I believe you're from an alternate reality."

I sighed, giving him a hug.

"Thank you," I said. "You're the only one who's the same as the other world. You're the only one who is kind and helpful, I'm so glad I was able to help you."

"It's a little weird," he said with a small chuckle. "I can't imagine me in another world without my daughter. Tell me more about it."

"We had a band," I said. "And we were good. We played shows and shit and were just about to get signed onto a major label. And Mikey was this little comic book geek like us. He had bad hair and wore these nerdy glasses. Frank is covered in tats and piercings. He's so energetic and passionate about music. You're, like, the backbone of the whole group. The quiet genius."

"It's weird imagining me hanging out with Frank and Michael," he said. "They're the school jocks."

"Not in my world," I said. "In mine they're these little punks, 'specially Frank."

I sighed, looking down. I missed him so much, I missed holding him in my arms and kissing him and cuddling him.

"What do you think would happen if I seduced Frank in this world," I said. "And then I can learn my lesson by treating him better this time."

"Well, that's a good idea in theory but he's straight in this world," he said.

"Or maybe he's not," I said, sitting up excitedly. "In this world he's a jock. And jocks are full of internalized homophobia, right? So, maybe he is secretly gay, or at least bi. And I can show him that we're meant to be."

"I don't know, Gerard, sounds a little bit risky," he said. "If what you're saying is true then there must be a lot of internalized homophobia because he keeps beating you up. You might get hurt."

"I've hurt him before in my life," I said. "Not physically but emotionally, we did tend to fight a lot. Maybe this is my punishment, I have to be hurt by him in payback for me hurting him."

"That sounds a bit--"

The door opened and Lindsey stood there, crossing her arms.

"You've been ignoring my calls and texts," she said. "Someone had to tell me you were here with Toro."

"I'm gay," I groaned, burying my face into my hands. "I like boys. I enjoy sucking dick."

"No you don't, silly, you're my boyfriend," she said. "And what did you do? Why do you look like some kind of street rat."

"This is who I am," I said. "I am a cock-sucking street rat punk."

"I know how to get that color out of your hair," she said. "Come on, let's go, baby."

"No, Lindsey, I just want to be friends, okay?" I asked. "I can't be with you, I like boys. I'm in love with someone else."

"But--"

"Alright, I think it's time for you to go because we have studying to do," Ray said, guiding Lindsey out before shutting the door again. "You're going to have to tell her that you're from a different universe."

"Everyone thinks I'm crazy," I said. "I have tried telling people but they don't believe me. You're the only one who will believe me, probably just because you love comic books and shit like that too."

I sighed in frustration, shaking my head.

"I can't stay here," I said. "I need to get back home, Ray. It's just so hard, I need to get back."

I took a drink from my water bottle, which had all but water in it. I sighed, closing my eyes. I decided to make plans to get Frank back. I would have to win him over somehow, I just wasn't quite sure how yet. I couldn't go up to him with roses and a love song, I would only receive a punch to the face. I had to do it slowly and calmly.

"How do I win Frank over?" I asked. "Tell me about him in this world."

"Don't really know much other than that he plays on the lacrosse team," he said.

"AKA the douchiest sport to exist," I muttered.

"And he lives in that huge house on the hill with his parents," Ray said.

"His parents aren't divorced?" I asked. "And he's rich? Wow, he is really different in this world. I don't know how I'm even going to relate to him. How am I supposed to win him over?"

"Just take things slow," he said.

I nodded, formulating a plan before I finally got an idea. I smiled, grabbed my water bottle before saying goodbye and hurrying out of the room.