Lies Don't Hurt

Chapter 15

"Hey baby what are you up to"? i asked her while looking at the screen. I saw a y/n news page. Damn those titles where hard. 'Is Y/n fooling us with a fake burns and fake burned house' 'Is she faking everything' 'are Y/n and Lauren still endgame or did they break up' 'Was Dua Lipa really the problem'

"Nothing really". Y/n said. she closed the macbook and turned around. "Why are you still up"? she asked.

"I could ask you the same". She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me closer. her head was on my chest. I went with my fingers trough her hair. We stayed like this for a long time.

"Why are you still with me" she suddenly asked. Dang that was a question out of nowhere." I mean after everything that had happend to you is because of me. Why are you still with me". I was actually kinda shook. She let go of my waist and looked me in the eye

"Why wouldn't I be. It is not like you didn't gave me a choice . You asked me if i wanted to be your Girlfriend and i said yes. You asked me to marry you and i said yes and i would still say yes. After everything and i mean everything You are the one i want to come home to. You are the one who i want to lay next to every night. You are the one who i want to spend the rest of my life with. I know The past couple of months have been hell but, you are still the one. I don't think if i had this with someone else if i would still be with them" I said to her.

"Maybe if you weren't with me all of this never happend to you". Y/n said softly.

"Why would you even think that". she stood up and took a few steps.

"it is true if you weren't with me this would never happen to you". she said and i could feel tears running down my face.

"Are you fucking serious right now. You want to have a fight at 4 am". I said to her i could feel my anger coming up.  Does she know what she is saying. "oh so you want a fight then. How could you possibly know that if you and i weren't together all of this never happend. how could you know? I guess you don't because it already happend. We can not go back and try to fix things because it already happend. I already lost my skin and you did to.  We can not go to the past anymore. We can not change wat already happend oké. Because if you could go to the past it means you didn't want to be with me". I saw her tears running down her face to now.

"I COULD OF LEAST CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU GOT HURT". This was the first time Y/n had ever yelled at me. I didn't felt scared i just didn't felt anything at all. "FUCK". Y/n was throwing her hand up behind her neck.

"FUCK YOU Y/N. WHY DE HELL DO YOU THINK OF AL THIS BULLSHIT. I ALREADY GOT HURT. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE FUCKING FACT THAT WHAT ALREADY HAVE BEEN DONE Y/N YOU CAN'T UNDO. YOU KNOW IF I COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE SOMETHING. I WOULD CHANGE THE FACT THAT EVERY NIGHT SINCE THE ACCIDENT I CAN'T SLEEP ANYMORE. EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES I SEE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL LAYING THERE LIFELESS WITH TUBES ATTACHED TO YOU. YOU CAN'T JUST GO AND WALK LIKE A SUPERHERO AND CHANGE EVERYTHING" And then it hit me.

"Sometimes Alec and I think about our parents on the most weird moments. It just pop in our head out of the blue".

It is not about me. If she wanted to go back she didn't want to change us she wanted to change that.

"Y/n" I said softly to her. She looked at me. I pulled my arms straight forward signaling her to give a hug. she looked at me confused. I stayed there for a minute until she gave in. I rubbed her back.