Solace and Sparkles (HHHL)

Chapter Nineteen

Kalisto Rivera

"Stay with me."

I know she's already drunk as of this moment and I shouldn't take advantage of her vulnerability but her damn voice plead for me to stay.

Marahan niyang hinawakan ang braso ko. Huminga ako ng malalim at pilit na kinaklaro ang isipan ko. I should not take advantage of her at this moment.

She then walked inside the bathroom still holding unto my arm, her soft hands then slid down to my wrist and then my hand. I hitched a breath. Her touch sends an indescribable current in my system.

"Stay with me, Kalisto.."

I stood frozen on my tracks as she calls my name. The last time she was drunk she called another man's name and that woke me up from kissing her senselessly.

Her eyes are already drooping that looks like she would fall asleep anytime, her face up to her collarbone were flushed red and she cannot walk straight. She really have a low alcohol tolerance yet she wanted to look strong and independent.

Nagulat ako nang isukbit niya ang braso niya sa batok ko at unti-unting hinalikan ang leeg ko. Halos mawalan ako ng hininga at pilit na pinipikit ang aking mga mata. I held her small waist but her soft groans while kissing my neck brings more tension in my body.

"You smell nice.."

I tried to push her away by pushing her lightly while holding her waist. "Nezha, I thought you wanted to take a shower? Go on take your shower, I'll be here."

She pouts then twirl around. She hummed a song and started to undress herself right in front of me. Huminga ako ng malalim at hindi na pinansin ang ginagawa niya tsaka ko pinuno ng tubig ang bath tub.

Matapos siyang magtanggal ng damit ay agad siyang umupo sa bath tub. Isinara ko ang curtain at tumalikod sa kanya. I let her enjoy her bath but a few minutes passed I felt her warm and naked body on my back.

My back gets wet at her gesture but chills crept my spine when she trailed my back with her nails. "Bath with me," she said seductively. Kinilabutan akong muli at mas lalo akong kinilabutan nang halikan niya ang likod ko.

"Kalisto." Hindi ako pumihit paharap sa kanya pero nagulat ako nang nasa harapan ko na siya. She was reaching my face and I don't know how long I'll be able to restrain myself with what she is doing.

I keep on reminding myself that she's drunk and that I shouldn't take advantage of her. "Make me, Kalisto.. Make me, baby."

Idinikit niya ang katawan niya sa akin at mas lalo kong naramdaman ang mainit niyang katawan. "Baby, you're drunk."

Umiling siya, her droopy eyes opened and that was the first time I saw her eyes filled with desire. Muli niyang isinukbit ang braso niya sa batok ko at hinalikan niyang muli ang leeg ko. I felt her giving me little bites on my neck.

Nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong itulak sa bath tub. She then sat in my lap. "You said you're made to love me. Love me then."

Is she this shattered? I remembered what she told everyone earlier that a man shattered her whole but with what she said she was beyond repair. I want to make her mine as of this moment. I want to hide her away from the man that shattered her. I want her for my whole life.

Tinabing ko ang ilang buhok na nakatabing sa mukha niya and I can see how tears streamed down from her eyes. I kissed her tears, then her eyes, then her nose and finally her lips.

"Oh, baby.. You don't know how long I waited to have a chance to love you."

I heaved a sigh as I stare at her sleeping face. Up until now she looks so innocent, so fragile. I slid my fingers lightly to her pointed nose and up to her lips.

Her naked body next to me. I'm too scared of what she will feel or what will she say after she discovered what we did tonight.

I tried to restrain myself and I wanted to bang my head on the wall with what I did. I felt like I took advantage of her vulnerability while she was under the influence of alcohol.

"Why are you like this now?" I asked her. I know she won't answer because she was sleeping soundly yet I wanted to gaze at her beautiful face.

"You were once a bubbly and sweet girl. What happened to you? What happened to you, baby?"

I felt her snuggle beside me as she fit herself in my arms. She looked like a child snuggling beside her parents and eventually I have an urge to hold her tight and not let her go.

I loved her from afar. I was loving her from afar for years now.

But that time she has Philos. I was a senior when Nezha was at her freshman year and when Philos was at his sophomore year.

I can still remember how Nezha rejected me before. How she politely told me she was in loved with someone else.

She was my first love and my first heartache. After I graduated I flew to London and took my masters.

When I got back I heard that Nezha moved in with Philos. That they were planning to start a family. Alois told me all their plans.

I was devastated. I feel like I was waiting for nothing. That time I promised to move on and forget all about her and start building up my career as a model and an artist.

I saw her again when Alois and Tanya got married but that time she was alone. She looks stressed out and she got thinner than before.

I learnt that she broke up with Philos a year ago and now Philos was nowhere to be found after he flew out of the country that even Alois couldn't find him.

In such a joyous occasion she stood out wearing a black halter cocktail dress with a thick white ribbon on her waist.

I never dare get near her that time. I wonder if she recognized me that time. I also changed over the years. When I first confessed to her I was still darker and a lot chubbier than today.

But at the time of Hansel's wedding there I confirmed that she didn't remember me. Who would have remembered an insignificant one like me?

I bet she was used to be confessed to or to be pursued to because of her beauty.

Muli akong huminga ng malalim at hinalikan ang kanyang noo. She moaned softly.

"Hold me close through the night
Don't let me go, we'll be alright
Touch my soul and hold it tight
I've been waiting all my life
I won't scar your young heart
Just take my hand."

I started to sing her the song that reminds me of her over the years. The night is so silent and I just want her by my side through it. I waited for so long.

"Cause I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you."

I know what I did was wrong. Everything about my actions earlier was wrong but I was determined. Whatever happened, I'll take responsibility to what happened.

"Please don't go, I've been waiting so long
Oh, you don't even know me at all
But I was made for loving you."

If Philos won't take her back I will keep her in. I'll give her my heart all she want. I'll give her my love. She can break me and mend me. I'm at her disposal.

If she needed someone to take care of her shattered heart I'm willing to take her shattered heart and piece it back together.

"I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you."