call out my name | kylo ren

1 | lost and afraid

He begins walking again only to have the exact same thing reoccur, except his vision remains blurred and dark for much longer, causing him to stumble. And that's the last thing he remembers before he falls to the ground.

☆.｡.:*

"Is he okay?"

"He'll be fine. His vitals are normal, but he's a bit dehydrated. The dark circles under his eyes lead me to believe he's sleep deprived, too. But nothing is seriously wrong. We just need to give him time to come-to."

Kylo groans then, and his eyes roll open. He winces at the bright light in the room, blinking furiously to try and test his vision. He sits up quickly, too quickly, causing him to feel dizzy all over again.

A hand pushes him back down against the bed, and he realizes it's his own bed. He's in his room, a medic and General Hux hovering over him.

"I'm fine," Kylo manages, attempting to sound tough and well, not like he'd just passed out in the hallway.

"You should keep laying down," You, the medic, say and Kylo finally gets a good glimpse of you. You're beautiful. Your hair is long and a very deep brown color, and your eyes are a true green. Your beauty resides in the simplicity of your looks, and Kylo suddenly finds himself unable to look away, his eyes locking with yours.

"What happened to me?" Kylo asks, even though he already knows the answer. He wants to hear you speak again.

"You passed out in the hallway. But you're going to be fine, I promise," you smile and begin packing up your medic bag. "I think you just need to actually rest. How much have you been sleeping lately?"

Kylo shifts uncomfortably, not wanting General Hux to know what his physical state is in regarding sleep. He never fully trusted Hux, and that remains true now. And even though Hux is already aware of Kylo's incident, it isn't his business to know any further details that Kylo discusses with the beautiful medic.

"General Hux, excuse yourself," Kylo says, and Hux nods before promptly exiting the room.

"About my sleeping," Kylo starts, sitting up in bed a little, "I'm probably only getting 2 or 3 hours a night."

Your eyes become a bit softer toward Kylo, empathy he presumed. "Why is that?"

Kylo hesitates for a short moment. He typically would never confide in anyone about anything really, but something about the look in your eyes compels him to be honest.

"I have...nightmares," he says slowly, "They either wake me up or I just don't let myself sleep in general so I can avoid them."

You nod, "I'm sorry to hear that. My little sister had night terrors when we were younger and she struggled with it a lot. I tried some therapy with her and it helped quite a bit. Last time I saw her she said she hasn't had trouble with them in a few years."

"Therapy?"

"Yeah, she was struggling a lot with fear and hadn't dealt with some of the emotional things she'd been through...Some therapy was all she really needed. And relaxation techniques too, but I think that once we worked through what was going on in her mind, most of the problems cleared up as well."

Kylo considers this for a moment. He thinks it's nice how you had helped your little sister, and it was even better that she had recovered from her night terrors. He wishes that he could recover, too.

"Do you have a lot going on in your mind?" You ask.

He wants to be honest. He wants to let someone help him decipher the horrible things that have been running through his mind every single night.

But he can't. He just can't let himself tell you any more.

"I'm fine," Kylo says, the emotional gate closing again. You nod and don't push the subject anymore.

"Okay. Try to rest today, and start drinking some water. Come see me at the medic station if you need anything else or start feeling bad again," you tell him as you start to head toward the door.

"Wait," Kylo calls out. He has one last question before you leave. You turn back around.

"What's your name?" he asks.

You smile. "My name is Lex."

"Lex," Kylo repeats.

"Have a good afternoon Master Ren," you smile again before stepping forward, the doors opening.

"Kylo," he says. "Just call me Kylo."

☆.｡.:*

Sleep finds Kylo at some point in the afternoon, and becomes just deep enough for him to begin dreaming once again.

He jolts awake like he was always does, except this time he feels a deep feeling of hopelessness. He can't keep living like this, he realizes. He can't keep pretending to be fine and powerful when he's constantly suffocating on the inside.

He gets up and dresses himself, before walking straight to the medic station. He knows who he needs to talk to.

He needs to talk to you right now.