1 | lost and afraid

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"I don't wanna let you down, so promise you won't let me drown

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"I don't wanna let you down, so promise you won't let me drown."

..:*Kylo..:*

He wakes in a sweat, despite the room being incredibly cold. It's still dark inside his room, leaving him feeling disoriented and wondering what time it is. He sighs and removes himself from the bed he used to find comfortable, but now finds as a place of terror.

The hot water of the shower almost burns his skin, but he doesn't turn down the heat. The stinging sensation reminds him that he's alive, and that the dream is no longer occurring. He's been having that same dream for months.

He still remembers the first time he had it. It caused him so much discomfort in a way that he was unfamiliar with, leaving him shaken for weeks. That was months ago, and while he normally would've been past something like that by now, the dream has been coming every single night for the past two weeks.

He's barely received any restful sleep since the dreams started back up, and while he doesn't want to admit it, he knows that the lack of rest has been taking a toll on his health. He's lucky that things with Snoke are at a standstill for the moment. The First Order has successfully taken control of the galaxy, thanks to Kylo himself. And because of Kylo's obedience to Snoke, Snoke is virtually letting Kylo do whatever he pleases, for now anyway.

But, when Snoke eventually does call on Kylo to do something again, he'll need to be ready for it. So, this lack of sleep and nightmare situation is beginning to seem detrimental.

Kylo turns off the water and redresses himself. He had planned to train today, but now he feels so exhausted he's not sure he can make it through a single round of sparring.

But, he decides to push through the exhaustion and go out for a round anyway; the idea of sitting in his quarters alone all day with nothing to do bothering him more than the feeling of being over tired.

"Good morning, Master Ren," the stormtrooper that keeps 24/7 watch outside of his room greets him. While things have been relatively calm these days, there's always the possibility of a breach of security or worse, a new spy on the inside. So, Kylo feels better knowing someone is always looking out while he's in his most vulnerable state. But, he guesses it doesn't matter much these days anyway, because he's awake more than he's sleeping.

Kylo nods at the stormtrooper and continues walking down the hallway, trying to pull his shoulders back and appear intimidating and confident to anyone who might see. He wants everyone to maintain their respect for him, and that would be difficult to do if he looked half asleep and mopey while walking around the ship.

However, as he turns the corner, his vision blurs and then goes completely black for a split second, stopping Kylo in his tracks due to the disorientation. He shakes his head and blinks a few times, his vision clear again. He takes a deep breath, glances around to see if anybody had witnessed what just happened, and feels relieved when he doesn't see anyone.

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