Why you should never date a doctor?

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We all know that doctors are always very busy round the clock? They do not have time to spare at the loo. At times I believe they don't run down to the bathrooms until their bladders are about to burst and their piss is about to spill out and create a watery mess on the lizol cleaned white floors of the hospital.

I remember one day I was doing a routine hand scaling for a patient and suddenly I realised that my poop was calling out quiet loud, not requiring a loud speaker to announce its arrival. My patient was in a hurry hence I had to keep it in and continue the task at hand. I remember the rounded stool almost rattled as I shook my arse to hold it in a while longer. Unfortunately that day I had a nice yummy breakfast of vadas and sambar and I couldn't have regretted eating almost 8 vadas more. Who would have known that a few extra vadas would add onto the pressure?

I almost cried out mentally hoping to just get it over with as soon as possible. I really wished it would be over. I quickly rattled with my hand instruments putting in harder strokes to remove the dirt hanging on to her teeth almost lacerating her gums. I wanted it to get over.

At the most beautiful hour, when her teeth were shiny and perfect, I almost threw my instruments back into the pouch and chucked it into my bag not caring if all my hand instruments were actually present. I ran towards the bathroom in lightning speed as though a little longer and it would spill into my pants.

Believe me when I say it, but once you poop after holding it in so long you feel so unworldly as though you have gone to eutopia or a sacra terra. Wow! I felt I was in a garden of peach blossoms but the smell was definitely not that of peach blossoms. As a kid, I have always gagged at the smell of my poop and as time passed I gained control over my gag reflex but obviously it didn't mean I loved the smell of my poop.

I was in a state of euphoria suddenly remembering the anal stage of child psychology in Sigmund Freud's psychosexual theory. I couldn't have felt better at that moment. I almost heaved a sigh of relief after coming out. My friends who saw me laughed out loud whilst I cursed them in words that were not present in the Oxford dictionary. They definitely knew not to piss me off because they silently laughed and packed up.

Sometimes I feel sorry for doctors. They don't have time to even care for themselves. At moments when it comes to dating, they definitely can invest loads of money but not time. Because they themselves are deficient. Where would they find this precious entity?

Some doctors are too proud to let their patients down and some don't care. But almost every doctor is still deficient of this entity because no matter what they always have to attend to their patients and treat them with a protocol taught in 5 unw. The reason why patients say that doctors are living deities representing Gods. Some go as far as metaphorizing doctors as Gods.

But we know that we are no vehicles of gods. We simply do something that we are taught and try to help people lead a better lifestyle. We are nothing but crazy human beings with a shackled brain too much interested in serving people and pooping our own pants.