Circles | K.J

XXV

"You're not my mom" I snapped

"Ok"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that" I said

"It's ok, let's chill out and go to sleep"

"Yeah" I sighed happily

I woke up again at 5am, and thought to myself that will have to do, I couldn't have slept another minute. Spending time with Kendall like this somehow made me feel more motivated to make my leg better and get back into training. I got out of the bed and sat in an armchair, then stretched out my right leg and leaned over it, slowly leaning back until I was sitting upright with my leg outstretched, and easily held it for thirty seconds. Then I stretched out my left leg and felt a burning pain, and gasped out loud at a constant snapping feeling until I put it down again. "Fuck" I whispered. It felt hot, but normal to the touch. When the pain went away I couldn't feel the leg anymore which was now normal, and I stood up slowly. It didn't hurt, but I couldn't feel it so I didn't know what to think. I limped over to the bed and got back in, feeling very worried about whether I'd be able to go back to my job again and right now it didn't look too likely.

When Kendall woke up she smiled at me and kissed my cheek "morning gorgeous, how long have you been awake?"

"Not long" I lied. It was 8 and I'd been awake for three whole hours, tossing and turning

"How's your leg?" She asked

"I can't feel it but it's normal" I said "it's fine"

"Maybe you should get that checked out at a real doctor" she lifted up the covers and put her hand on the leg and squeezed up and down it but I could only feel slight pushes on it.

"It already has been checked by a real doctor, there's real doctors there"

"No, I mean a specialist" she said

"But I don't want to"

"Why?"

"Because I don't" I protested and she sat up and stroked my hair while she kissed my cheek softly

"I know you must feel so nervous about it, anyone would want to put off finding out they're never going to feel their leg again, but I think you're super brave and you can get through this, even if the news is bad"

"Fine" I grumbled

"Good" she nodded and got out of bed "lets go have some breakfast"

"Mhm" I agreed

~

As I walked out of the doctors office, I was becoming more and more angry. I'd just been told I was unlikely to be able to walk without a walking stick in the next few months, and there was a 90% chance I couldn't run ever again. I silently got into Kendall's car, and she looked at me expectantly.

"So?" She said after a minute of complete silence.

"I'm a fucking cripple" I snarled and she raised her eyebrows and started driving. She was doing all the right things, and that made me even more mad that I felt like the nasty person in this situation, and she was being an angel about everything.

"Do you wanna go shopping or get something to eat?"

"No" I quietly mumbled and she nodded and continued to drive back to her house. When we got there I hid in her bedroom and she left me alone and did some work on her laptop in the dining room. I wanted her to come speak to me, but I knew if I was in her situation I'd wait for me to come speak to her first. I wouldn't want my head bitten off, at least.

I got bored of sitting still doing nothing, so I went to see her. She smiled at me and looked back at her work, and I sat down next to her at the large wooden table "hey" I said

"Hey"

"I'm sorry I was rude to you earlier" I mumbled

"It's fine, I know you're frustrated" she said

"Thanks" I watched her replying to an email from some company, then decided I wanted to speak to her about my doctor appointment. "He said I'll probably need a walking stick in the next few months and I'll probably never run again, even with treatment"

"Oh. Then what's the point of treatment?" She asked

"I asked that and he said it would improve my quality of life but I think he's just trying to get my money" I said

"How would it improve your quality of life if you're not walking?" She frowned

"Exactly. So that's why I was mad"

"That's fine, I'd feel the same"

"Do you think I can do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be in the army again?"

"I think you can do anything if you put your mind to it. You might look like a dumb blonde but you're not dumb" she said

"Thanks" I laughed