You and I | A Star is Born

2| Million Reasons

The day he knew Ally was headed to London he was discharged from rehab. Bobby went over that morning and collected the few items he'd asked for – a handful of clothing, a journal, his guitar. One of Charlie's old collars. His black hat.

Bobby had taken nearly three hours to return.

"What the hell took you so long?" Jack asked him.

"Cleaning up glass. Looks like Ally destroyed all your framed posters," Bobby had replied. Shit. Was he doing the right thing? He'd really hurt her this time. But it was the only way to save her from his demons.

He had to let Ally go.

That very day, he and Bobby packed up their California life and moved south. It didn't take long, Bobby had been preparing for it for the past month, all according to Jack's instructions. They'd move to Phoenix together, to a small house outside of the city on a big plot of land. Close enough to other houses that they wouldn't have to worry about any crazy fans or stalkers. Bobby would travel as needed, keeping up his gig as Willie's manager. And Jack, well, he'd figure it out.

Performing was out. The moment the news broke, he was sure he'd be crucified by the media and by both of their fans. It was despicable. Ally stands by him after he ruins her Grammys moment, after he goes to rehab, and after he overdoses? Then he divorcesher? They were going to hate him. Hell, he hated himself. He kept picturing Ally sitting on the floor of their home surrounded by shattered glass. Probably with cuts and bruises on her knuckles and he wanted more than anything to go back through time and walk out of their kitchen with a bag of frozen peas he could wrap around her hand to help it heal. He wanted to turn the car around, go find her, run straight into her arms and holder tighter than he ever had before, promise her that he loved her more than anything and that she hadn't done anything wrong. God she was probably trying to figure out what the fuck she'd done to deserve this but she had been perfect. She deserved so much better, that was the problem.

Why did she have to fall in love with him in the first place? Maybe it was his fault for falling for her first. He thought he could have something so beautiful in his life, and somehow believed he wouldn't entirely fuck it up. What a mistake that had been.

Jack stared out the window of the truck at the passing landscape. Flat deserts, clear sky, dry ground. He'd driven this way with her once, her arms fastened tight around his waist. He hoped Charlie would cuddle with her. She didn't need to be alone right now. Maybe Ramon would come over. Or Lorenzo. Or just fucking anybody. Surely there was someone there for her. Fuck, he thought. Please don't let her be alone right now. Somebody, anybody, stay with her. Don't let her go through this alone.What a fucking mess. What a complete fucking mess he'd made.

Had she cried when she saw those papers? What had she thought when she read that letter? He had tried to choose only the words that would hit the hardest. He'd wanted to tell her she was ugly, knowing that would keep her from reaching out to him – because if she came to find him, he wouldn't be able to lie to her. She was like kryptonite, one look from her and he'd been sobbing on his knees telling her how sorry he was. But "when I look at you I just don't feel anything" was as close as he could get. Turns out he could only hurt her like that when he was shit-faced. Jack just couldn't bring himself to tear her apart when sober. Because the truth was that she was stunning. Beautiful. He looked at her and every single argument with his brother, every lonely drunken night with his old man, every high and every come-down and every heavy trauma all felt worth it. He'd live it all a thousand times just to wake up to sunlight falling on the curve of her nose in the morning. Or to see the little crinkles in the corner of her eyes when she smiled.