Hot Detention

chapter 1: the first kiss

Principal Brennigan was yelling at Stella, AGAIN for wearing a shirt that had too much cleavage. He didn't want anyone else seeing those beautiful fleshy orbs of wonder that bounced delicately with every step she sauntered around the school. They both had that saturated look in their eyes. The one that only a principle and his pupil can have. You know the one. Wonder glew in his irises around his pupil as he gave a bouquet of irises to his pupil.
"Thanks," exclaimed Stella.
Brennigan winced at the remark.
"You don't have say thanks I'm in love with you it's just customary."
"Well Brenny, that's just who I am. A polite young behaved woman with flesh orbs"
"Bouncy Flesh orbs." He leaned forward naturally
Suddenly, there was knock at the door.
"Ahoy Mateys, it's me, Liam's boyfriend!" Said John Rallatos "I am so ecstatic to be in your company. I've always wanted to meet you Principle Brennigan, That's why I'm transferring to this school!"
"Tasty!" Exclaimed Brenngian, "Now please leave"
"Make me" Said John Rallatos with those penetrating eyes of his. they store right through Brennigans HUGE PACKAGE.
Stella blushed furiously, Brennigan was never this forward with her. She felt so left out, third wheeled, abandoned. She pushed her way in between them. They were now 2 inches apart. She could feel Brennigan's breath on her shoulder blade. It was HOT. Almost as hot as he. John Rallatos tore away her leg warmers in a fit of raged lust. Brennigan spun her and gripped her arm with his firm masculine hand. It felt like a child with a baseball glove. A quite muscular child to be exact. She couldn't help but let out a squeaky moan "Eep!"
He removed her cleavagey shirt. Good thing she had her "Vegetarians Rock" t-shirt underneath.
John Rallatos said, "You're a vegetarian?"
Brennigan said, "She has been for 5 months!" Then he kissed her briskly on her nonexistant upper lip. She could feel his dangly teeth rubbing her moustache. It was their first kiss. How romantic. She had forgotten her mother was present. Her mother began clapping in 2/4 time. As mothers do. Her twin brothers appeared with a boom mic and a camcorder. Her mother removed them from the premises.
"You have been adopted by Ginny (from Friday the 13th: Part Two)" said Stella's Mama
"Goody!" Said the first twin
"Goody!" Said the second, 2 milliseconds after.
"She hot!" They said in unison.
John Rallatos felt a little bit out of place so be made the rash decision to kiss Brennigan on his plump earlobe "Mmmmmm," he whispered. Brennigan gasped, for he saw Patrick Martin Stump leap with joy at Rallatos making out with his ex-boss' voluptuous lobe. He clapped his hands in 3/4 time while doing a stumpy jig. "Please kiss more my dearest John." He said in a british accent,
"How do you know him?" Yelled Stella
"Oh we go way back, I can't wait to tell you our backstory!" said stump
"Shall we have a flashblack?" Screamed Brennigan, for he loved flashbacks with all of his beefy succulent heart.
Back at the soup kitchen in 1989 at Camp Julia
"Hey sexy," said Martin Stump (this waz before he started using the name Patrick) to our lovely John Rallatos
"You could keep your license any day," They said together as they giggled. Then they fist bumped and made out all night long. It was love at first sight. Until! Pete Kingston Louis Wentz III walked in with his long neck, and even longer legs.
"Give me my hunk of a man back" He said this as Patrick was audibly notifying him that John was NEVER his man. They had never met!
They took turn shaking hands until they had all formally met each other in an orderly fashion. Then they had a threesome
End of Flashback
"What ever happened to Pete," Anointed Stella as Pete dove through the nearest window with his brand new silky Cape. It was slimy
"Hey, where'd your OLD Cape go," Said Patrick
"This old chump STOLE it," as he pointed to John.
"I would never do such a thi-," Said John as he was interrupted by a light stabbing by Pete.
"Give me back cape he screamed" But it was too late. John Rallatos had a pole stuck through his abdomen, and not in a good way. He was going to say "It wasn't me it was Mohini" but now he had a pole in him. Brennigan grasped his shoulders tenderly and kissed him once or twice you decide
"I swear I will avenge you, by morning or night, by darkness or light, by the birds that take flight, I will avenge you my love." Then he unplugged John's life support from the nearby lemonade machine as you could hear Stella Audibly sobbing as she had never been spoken like this by Brennigan. It was so sweet. She only hoped that Pete would stab her too in the presence of Brennigan. Patrick gasped. He tripped in his excitement and as he landed on the ground his shirt fell off and underneath (next to his pancake sized nipples) was a cape. Along with the many many stains acquired over the years it now had a heart shaped pool of John Rallatos' sweet sweet irony blood. Pete grasped the cape and pulled Patrick off the ground by the nape of his long neck that wasn't as long as his legs. He kissed him suppily but missed and hit his 4th tooth from the left on Brennigan's greasy elbow.
"How greasy," Exclaimed Pete, "Are you a-"
"Greasy Boy!?" Chanted everyone
"Tis Eye, the 5th Greasy boy." The words slipped from the lips so greasy only a true greasy boy could own. How had Stella not noticed from their first kiss. From then on Patrick longed to kiss those slippery greasy lips with his own dry crusty skin flaps. If only he could use Brennigan's grease as chapstick. But he knew it would never be so for he was married to Alferd Packer (the cannibal from Cannibal! The Musical) The tastiest being to ever walk this Earth.