Flutter

Nest of Wasps

He grabbed your hand in one of his and placed his other hand flat on your back, stabilizing you. He brought your hand to your chest. "Close your eyes." He said gently, so much so that you couldn't help but obey. "Take deep breaths in and out." You felt your eyelids slide shut. "In through the nose and out through the mouth," he instructed in his low, calming voice.

You could feel your heartbeat pounding in your chest, into your hand. "I don't think it's working, Ushijima." You said, looking up at him, your cheeks were buzzing and warm.

He cocked his head to one side as you slide your hand from under his and held his hand to your chest. "That's odd," Ushijima began, furrowing his brows quizzically, "usually, the heart rate should go down, but yours is increasing."

The way he was looking at you. Oh, the way he was looking at you; concern laden in his eyes, eyebrows knitted, biting his bottom lip. You felt as if you would faint if he stayed like that just a little bit longer.

"Yeah, and if you keep looking at me with that face my heart might as well just explode." You thought, limp in his arms.

---

Though the two of you managed to resume your exercise, that still didn't mean you were any less distracted the rest of the day. Throughout all of you classes, the only thing you could think about was Ushijima. His hands, his eyes, the way his eyebrows wrinkled with worry, his voice that made you melt, and the lips that you knew fit so well with yours.

Everything about Ushijima Wakatoshi was distracting, and now that he was back in your life, there was a part of you that couldn't get enough of him. You didn't notice that class was over until the lecture hall was predominantly empty. You blinked, shaking your head a few times as if to snap yourself out of it. How had a three hour lecture gone by in the blink of an eye when all you were doing is daydreaming?

You mentally scolded yourself as you gathered your belongings. You shouldn't be thinking about Ushijima, otherwise, what was the point of going to class and paying for college if all you were doing was thinking about a boy.

Though, at this point, it was hard to call Ushijima a boy, he was a man. He was not just any man, he was a man who you had lots of experience with and haunted you of a not-so-pristine past. You needed to snap out of it.

The walk back to your dorm from class proved to be rather a blur. The only thing you could think about was Ushijima. Your body was on autopilot, looking straight ahead but not really seeing anything. You walked straight to the steps but misjudged your step and tripped forward. You heard thudding and then you weren't falling anymore.

You opened your eyes, relaxing your body that had tensed in preparation for pain. You looked up at Ushijima, holding you awkwardly in his arms. Sure, he was athletic and fast, but he had barely managed to catch you on your way down. Your heart raced, your palms started to become clammy. You were dizzy, you felt sleepless. Ushijima readjusted you in his arms from your awkward position to a fireman's carry.

"Are you okay?" He asked, you could see the same worry in his eyes. Was it bad that you liked to see him like that? Because if you could help it, you might like it if he made that face all day.

"Uh," you blinked for a moment, you rubbed your eyes, still in Ushijima's arms, "yeah, I'm fine, I guess I've just been a little out of it lately."  Ushijima set you down after you gave him a few more lines of reassurance that you were, indeed, okay.

The two of you sat on the stairs, this time Ushijima had brought egg salad sandwiches from the convenience store on the edge of campus. Egg Salad is egg salad, but he had also brought some other snacks along with it. You opened the package and gave him half of the sandwich before the two of you started chowing down. It was an odd sort of habit the two of you were getting into, having casual picnics on the steps in front of your dorm while people were still milling around campus. Soon you were going to have to worry if Ushijima would run out of new things to bring you.