One of my favorite qoutes is "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and you will not fear death any longer." I understand that because I got alota anger and hatred in me I've been thru the ringer I always feel on edge unless I talk to certain people or God I hate myself with a passion for hurting people that did not deserve it. The funny thing about me is I can forgive everything almost but I can't forgive myself for hurting someone it tears me apart inside sometimes I think I don't deserve a girlfriend again because I'm a angry depressed piece of shit my friends dissagree but I always have these thoughts that it would be better if I dissapear not suicide because suicide is never the answer it don't stop the pain it gives it to the ones you love but to just dissapear like go off grid and dissapear because I ain't really matter if I vanished it wouldn't matter. I truly think that but at the same time Im like "you have been thru the mud and God and your friends lift you up and wash you off you may be a background character in everyone's life but you may find the one that's for you but you definitely won't if you dissapear so I refuse to give up and just vanish." I got God and a few friends to help me up I was told once and it stuck to my thinking that I'm a bad man with a good heart. I guess what I'm trying to say is God and my friends refuse to give up on me so I refuse to give up on me.
