ROLLING MEADOWS

“If you’d follow me into the parlor, I can get you started on paperwork and then the administrator, Dr. Williams, will be by to introduce herself.”

Great. First I give up my house. Now, he drives me out to the middle of nowhere just like a stray dog nobody wants, and to top that—I’ve got to wait around in the parlor. Who the hell has a parlor anymore? Funeral homes, that’s who. And what’s the difference. Nothin’ but a bunch or corpses in here waiting around to die. Why couldn’t it be a sports bar? I could have a cold beer and annoy a busty cocktail waitress or something. I’m a breast man.

I know what that paper he’s filling out says. It’s asking for me to surrender my dignity and he’s going to hand it to them with a grin on his face.

Asshole.

Maybe if I crap myself they’ll just put me in the special wing with the crazies and the vegetables. I can stay drugged and get sponge baths from the young nurses until I pass away. One lousy fall down the front steps and an old man is doomed to the linger-longer.

Wait a minute, who is this?

She’s tall, with her brown hair tied into a messy bun and she has smart-glasses on. I love the brainy ones. Her name tag says ‘Williams’ if my eyes don’t deceive and is pinned to a silky blue blouse which to my utter joy is undone one button too far. Must be the boss-lady.

“Hello all! I'm Dr. Williams. You must be the Aldridges. How can I help you today?”

“I could use a prostrate exam if you don’t mind. It’s a little chilly, but if it’s gotta be here, it’s gotta…”

“Dad!”

Bill is such a pussy. I’m just trying to break the ice here is all. I’ve got to live with these people.

“It’s quite all right,” Dr. Williams says to him, “Spirited, aren’t we Mr. Aldridge?” to me.

She doesn't even hint at a smile. I think she wants me. Who wouldn’t? There’s nothin’ sexier than a pissed off septuagenarian.

“I can be if you like. Not as good as I once was, but as good once as I ever was.”

I wink at her. Her lip curls up into the slightest of smiles, and just as I’d hoped, my dick curls right along with it. As good once as it ever was. Joyous, I wink at Bill.

“Dad!”

 “Just like to see that hair down around those shoulders,” I say.

“Dad!” he shrieks again. Pussy.

Well, we’ve established he knows who I am. Now if he’d just show some respect and take me home.

“Its fine,” she says to him.

“Maybe, Mr. Aldridge, if you pay attention and behave, I’ll wear my hair down one day.”

Now I get it. She’s playing me, a tease who likes to rev the old man’s engine just to watch me squirm. Either way this is the closest I’ve been to sex in better than four years.

The doctor continues, “You gentlemen can call me Jan.”

She holds out her hand and I shake it gladly. Long thin fingers, well manicured nails and no wedding band. I might could live here after all. I introduce us since he was busy gawking at her cleavage. Can’t knock him for that.

“Jimmy. This is my son, Bill. We aren’t speaking right now. You can tell him I said ‘Go to hell’.”

I won't talk to that prick. These dizzy spells won’t make me forget he’s putting me here to die. It’s just as well. I couldn’t live with him or his prude wife. She has a huge ass and a constant look of disapproval on her face.