Death Became Her

Prologue

Okay so this is my first story and I hope you guys like it. Don't be too harsh though if you don't like it, I know some people may disapprove of a few things but whatevs.

Make sure you guys Comment. Vote. and Fan =D, well that is if you even like the story...ghehe

Prologue--

Sitting in the grass.

Watching as it rains.

Feeling the world crumble around me inside my heart, and yet its perfectly perfect just sitting in the grass watching and listening to the rain hit the lake. 

"Buffy!" I hear Jim call over the downpour. I pretend not to hear him, hoping to stay a bit longer maybe get a cold, or die of pneumonia. But no such luck I think to myself as I hear him jog towards me. His belly jiggling as he dramatically races to me and yanks me away from the edge dragging my pruny feet from the water. I yelp when he unintentionally drags my feet over some of the sharp rocks.

A worried expression covers his face as he drops to his round knees trying to look at my feet and make sure they are okay. I sit there numb and indifferent  while he inspects my feet, just watching the small waves and the rain. Drowning out his incessant worrying. You know if dad were still here he wouldn't have dragged my feet over the rocks in the lake he would have taken off his shoes, lit a cigarette and sat with me, glancing at me maybe  and rubbing my shoulders with his free hand. But that was just my dad, for the most part, he seemed to know. To know exactly what was going on inside my head, or atleast what I wanted from people in those exact moments. Not that those moments could in anyway compare to the way I felt now.... how could they? He was there then. He was there buying my friends and I junk food while we talked about boys and cute animals all night. He was the guy doing my laundry when I was 12 because my life was just "so important". Yeah right, I would trade my life for his back in an instant, and not just cause he was the best dad in the whole world. Well who am I kidding that's a lie he was the best dad and that's all my wanting to die to bring him back would be for, because he was the guy buying me a strawberry shake while we talked about Bugs Bunny and Rocket Man, he was the one taking me to thrift stores and spending $50 on books and cassette tapes.

I wipe at the tears that seemed to have appeared on my face. Well I dunno, could be rain could be my pathetic tears mourning the death of the man who was most dear to me. I laugh hoarsely, my throat sore from screaming at the lake earlier. Jim looks at me worriedly, "Your feet seem okay, are you ready to come home, honey?"

Ready to come home? Are you kidding me?! When will I EVER  be ready to go back home, it's not even home anymore without dad, I mean sure, Jim (my dad's husband) is like a mom and dad in one, but that's not what I need. That's not even what I want. I just want my dad to come walking from our crapbox of a car, my sit on the porch dad wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a carhartts coat in -30 degrees outside smoking a cigarette dad,  to wrap his arms around me and tell me it was a sick joke that Leia played on me. That my demented older sister was just trying to get me to cry again. 

But  life isn't always that simple, and this time I knew that something like that just wasn't going to happen. I rubbed my cold hands along my jeans patting them a couple of times before I hefted myself up from the grass, I attempted a smile and aimed it at Jim, he did the same and opened his arms with a sobby chuckle, ghehe, jim always did that whenever he knew I needed a hug (and most of the time so did he). I rushed into them holding my stepdad close to me, he smelled like our sleepy time herbal tea. Sobs racked my body as I imagined my dad being the one to hold me. It felt like an eternity that we stood there just holding onto one another and bawling our eyes out as we were continually soaked with rain. When finally I looked up and saw Leia all 5'7" of her lean  body, arms crossed in her pose that told me she was trying to be the tough one....the strong one. But she couldn't fool me this time, I knew she was feeling as crappy inside as I was.

I nodded my head at her, and she slowly, uncomfortably, came to us. Me and Jim opened our arms and pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tight. She coughed and she pretended that her eyes did that bulgey thing while she tried to wiggle away and say she couldn't breathe. She pressed her perfectly painted black nailed fingers into us saying we needed to go, obligingly we obeyed, and all moseyed over to dad's crap box toyota.