RE-GIFTING
The mall was very busy, but then it should be. It was Christmas Eve, and all those jokes about guys buying their gifts at the last minute were coming true. Everywhere, a rush of bodies going from store to store, like waves of locusts attacking a ripe crop, scooping up the last of everything. But not a nasty word, no, for it was Christmas Eve, and all were focused on what to buy and how to get home as fast as possible.
So it was easy not to notice the woman who was not in a rush. The one person who was not obsessed with getting the shopping done and fleeing the scene. She sat there, on the leather couch in the electronics department, watching a movie on one of the 20 or so TVs all playing the same thing, calm, slightly catatonic. The staff didn't notice her, the shoppers looking for the perfect gift had missed her, she blended in with the background. She was still, she was not buying presents and she was not on her way somewhere. She was alone in a sea of people.
Jim, on the other hand, was engulfed by the same sea of people, and had been blown way off course while looking for a gift for his sister and brother-in-law. He was entertaining the idea of buying a TV when he turned around to notice the woman on her own, on the couch.
He almost moved on, stopped looking, but something wasn't right. She didn't look like she was waiting for anyone, and she didn't have that exhausted look on her face, as all the others did. No, she was just sitting there, watching TV, no expression on her face. Now curious, he forgot his mission and began to really look into the face of the quiet woman. Just then, she took her eyes off the TV, and stared at him. Jim suddenly felt he had been caught doing something he shouldn't , but her eyes were only there for a second acknowledging his glace, and then back to the TV. His alarm subsided and he now had to join her on the couch. It's a Wonderful Life was playing, which, Jim thought, as seasonable as it may be, can not help sell color TV's.
He watched the movie for a few seconds. “I love this movie” he said, vaguely in her direction. The woman didn't say anything, her eyes still straight ahead.
“For the longest time, I could never figure out which one was Lionel Barrymore?” he added.
“Mr. Potter is Lionel Barrymore” she answered, and then turned to look at him. Her face was serene, peaceful, and Jim thought it wasn't the same woman he had seen a minute before, the woman who looked out of place. Now it seemed, the crown had disappeared along with the rest of the mall, and the only people here were sitting on this couch.
“I'm glad you could sit down Jim, I didn't think you'd see me” she said.
Immediately it seemed natural for her to know his name, but then reality set in and he jumped back. “Uh....how do you......how do you know my name?” Jim asked.
Her gaze returned to the TVs. She at least seemed very relaxed, at peace, the complete opposite of Jim. She spoke again.
“I guess the moral of his story is that he forgot what he has. He became blind to the beauty around him, alot like all these people rushing aruond here, a lot like you Jim.”
“But how do you know my name? Who are you?” asked Jim. She turned to look at him again.
“Don't know, just do. But 10 minutes ago I was like you, not appreciating Christmas for what it was, for what it meant to me. Caught up in the buying unnecessary things, because it's expected of me. But sitting here, stepping away from the chaos, it came to me and now I'm off Jim, to get Christmas back.”
She then stood up, with a huge smile on her face, grabbed her purse, and disappeared into the crown that had suddenly re-materialized.
He sat there on the couch, the only quiet thing in the mall, watching the movie but not seeing it. Sitting there as she had when her first found her, he began to think of his Christmas, of the frenzied crowd, of how Christmas was, well...no longer Christmas. It wasn't what it used to be. He had no big home with lots of family, like he did when he was a kid. Christmas wasn't magic anymore, it didn't build up to something wonderful. It had become, quite frankly, an inconvenience.
He had to figure out what to send his parents, after consulting with his sister. He had to get something for his sister, and then head over to their place Christmas Day, give them their presents, sit through dinner, all the time wishing he were somewhere else. No, Christmas had become his brother-in-law, a bit of a pain. That's not what it was supposed to be.
Why didn't he go home for Christmas anymore? Time? It was only 8 hours away, that was no excuse. Why was it a chore to get something for his sister and her husband? His brother-in-law wasn't such a bad guy, a little loud but he made Jim's sister happy. Why was he never happy sitting there Christmas Day? Why did he always feel like he needed to leave? Where was he going to go?
Here he was sitting by himself, on a couch, in a mall, wondering why Christmas had become a pain. Then he realized, in a scrooge-like epiphany, that he had let it become a pain. He had become caught up in the greater Christmas crowd, and forgot how to make it good. He'd lost his touch.
And then, ever so small a feeling began to rise in his gut, a feeling that hadn't been there since he was 12 years old on Christmas Eve. The feeling of fantastic anticipation of the day to come. He was felling like he should feel on this night, and then he knew why.
He would go see his parents for Christmas. He would go home and it would be the best. If he left soon, he could be there by mid-morning, and his parents would love it. And his sister, well he'd go and find her something special, something that was just from him to her, and go over there tonight and be with them, and laugh and share a drink, hug them both, and really have somewhere to go afterward....home.
Jim was staring transfixed at the bank of TV's while all of this ran through his mind, still on the couch, still the only one not moving, still...and out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone staring at him. Jim stopped staring at the TV's and locked eyes with her, just for a split second. She was older than the woman whom he'd just met on the couch, and had blonde instead of brunette hair. But the thing that got hm the most was the look of alarm on her face when their eyes met – it seemed familiar.
He sensed her coming over, and then felt her weight on the couch beside him. He understood.
This couch, this place in the mall – he wasn't exactly sure what – was an oasis for the lost. Those that had lost their way on this busy night, those that couldn't remember what this night was supposed to mean. He'd found it and now it was his turn to pass it on, to re-gift.
He remained staring at the movie, as did the woman sitting next to him.
“I love this movie” she said.
Jim didn't say anything, eyes still fixed on the movie, but suddenly, he knew her name.
“I'm glad you could sit down Karen, I didn't think you'd see me......”
