November 25, 2019
Rant #1:
Part1:
I feel like the term or title "best friend" has lost its meaning , at least to me it has. I've had a good couple over the years as I've grown up and met other people in life. Some obviously better than the previous one. I've had best friends who either cared about me a lot and showed it hardly any, and on the other side of the spectrum, I've had best friends who didn't care much about me but pretended they did so It wouldn't be a concern or anything . So that brings me to now. Why do I feel like I need to address this concern now? Naturally if everything was sunshine and rainbows I wouldn't have to say anything, right? For a long time now I've been contemplating a big BIG decision. Do I just take my bag of hopes and disband and hope to find a person who meets what I believe the definition of a best friend is. Or do I stick with the one I have and have faith that it's all something going on in my head and I'm just some attention needy guy. Which I'll admit is a fault of mine but I can't help it. Dawning back on what I stated earlier , I have a small thing about what I consider a "best friend." Not to say my current one Is doing anything wrong but Sometimes it's somewhat questionable.
Part2:
What I would appreciate from someone who I consider a friend is them to essentially acknowledge my existence. Yaknow they dont mind approaching me for a conversation and they're cool to hang out with almost all the time. Then there's close friends , friends I've known for a vast amount of time and have always been by my side. Without a shadow of a doubt I can rely on them and I don't have to speak to them to reassure that thought . And finally of the bunch , best friends. When I consider someone a "Bestfriend" I consider them as someone I can always talk to, I consider them as family to me . That's how close I think they are and want them to be. When I have a best friend it's someone I speak to all the time, I don't necessarily think of them as higher than any of my other friends but it's the person I speak with the most. The person where you need a girlfriend or boyfriend to text you "hey, morning , how's your day?, you doing alright?" Someone who doesn't have to talk to you all day but at least show that they give a shit about you. Personally I don't care what the subject is, tell me about your day, tell me how your feeling yaknow . However it's something I find myself lacking in my current "best friendship" if you will. I feel like if I'm being treated in a different sense. Not in a bad way by any means but I feel like it's more of a title that's been slapped onto me . There's as quote or saying that I hear often when referring to relationships. "Never settle for less than what you feel like you deserve." I agree with it a lot because, if you're in a relationship with a person and you feel that you're settling for less because it's the only thing you got. You shouldn't stick with it just because it's all you got , I would argue that you should want to earn or have better. There's nothing wrong with giving up something or someone good for that chance alone at something better. I rambled on that concept to say that I feel like I'm not met with the simple tidbits in my friendship. I'm not saying or suggesting that I cut the person off forever ,but maybe there's someone who's more deserving of such a title that should have a heavy meaning. In professional wrestling when someone wins a championship title, it's not about the title it self that gives it the meaning. It is the moments and history behind it that lifts it to what it is. Making the title be as meaningful as it is. That's why I feel like the title I have is slowly diminishing the meaning it once had. And maybe , just maybe there is another person who deserves it and can carry that prestige with the moments, memories and overall history to rightfully support the title.
I would like to say in regards of this rant no matter what I say I am thankful to my current best friend and I owe them the world for being there when I needed them most. I'm still indecisive on if this an issue with me and my problems or something other than that to which I'll have to find out in my wishful future.
~KazamePhD
~End
