"The Whisper of Uncertain" On Going

Chapter 1

Mark

Life unpredictable it often works in mysterious way and all we have to do is to deal with it, whether you like it or not you have no choice but to conquer it. That's what I've learned throughout the years, everyday I had to force myself to wake up in the morning hoping there will be changes and also to feel the gentle breeze that I'm longing for long time. Unfortunately even the dawn seems so cruel to the sun  often greeted me like a heavy rain in the storm. I felt helplessly for changing my life.

As I walk  on back stage I was gradually greeted by a bright flash of cameras followed by  boisterous scream from those girls who’s fan of me. Sometimes I wonder why people tend to obsessed with good looks, like what's the purpose of being obsessed with appearance. In our world now adays people gain money because of their looks? Why the hell looks matters all the time.

Sometimes I wish that people will gonna normalize looks unfortunately not. Maybe that's the reason why I regret sometimes of being like this.
While I was on my way several girls folk on me asking to take some picture nor giving me a present. Usually all girls saying everyday the same thing:

"Markus you're so handsome!"

"Markus you're so hot!"

"I love you I want to marry you someday?"

"Markus Twain Parkerstacker, can you be my date?"

"Can I get your number?"

"Markus, can I be your girlfriend?"

All these made other guys envy on me  beside of being chased by girls. Several of companies also were offering me to be their model. In fact, I couldn't even count them. My life was full of rumors and different thing's that has been attached to me.

There were hundred of cameras that surrounds me that even i was in private room they're still capturing me. Since I'll became popular my life has been changed: Everyone knows me not only my name and whenever I walk in, girls abruptly folk on me capturing me and try to hug me nor to kiss me. Sometimes I have bruised from being pulled by the crowd.
Second thing that I hate in this kind of life are: They used to rummage about my personal life without asking permission. I don't have any privacy at all. Although, I don't hate my fans but I'm sick of pretending that I’m fine, and I wasn't tired in this kind of life but my manager said that I'm nothing without my fans. So no choice but to take it for granted.

Technically I am a man of honor: a prominent Prince charming that dreamed of by those princesses. A man who had every treasures in this world: money, fame, luxurious things, thousands of ladies falling on my feet but no one knows that this man was ignorant and fool, because he cannot full fill his real dreams and real happiness.

All these things that I have wouldn't make me a real man, because the truth a real man is a the one who's ready to build his own home. The one who call hero by his own children a man who adore and value by his woman. Unfortunately I am not that man. After ten to fifteen minutes I finally reach the dressing room and quietly snuck away from the fan girls. Taking a sigh and gently throwing myself on the couch. I close my eyes to gain some relaxation. I'm exhausted from the fashion show and being with crowd.

"Hey man you ok?" Someone ask.

I open my eyes and I saw Bryan holding a one glass of orange juice.

"Yeah just been little bit frustrated." I reply.

"Take some rest,"

I nod for a response.

However the millions of thoughts in my head spilling without consent. I've tried to keep them and lock it unfortunately the more I buried deeply the more it crave to flood that makes me devastated.  Glancing at him and I began to speak.