Wake Up

Do you know that feeling? When, it all comes back... suddenly and, unforeseen. A Fierce, furious flurry of emotions. But! You can't control it? When memories flicker vigorously through your head like slides on a rapid moving projector. A car crash of memories that hit you. Like a ton of bricks – they consume. Engulf you. Submerge you. Thus you lie in your own pitiful puddle of tears. Yearning. Desperately, Longing to change the past. Hearken! Listen! To the bittersweet numbness that has haunted my existence. I don't want you sorry sympathy or your pathetic empathy and I really don't want you to feel sorry for me. Peace is all I want, knowing I am freed from this limbo between life and death. Knowing those poignant hallucinations will terminate. For I bare my soul and unravel my tale.

Mental? Mad? Inane? Psychotic However I'm not I'm just depressed. It's not constantly crying or an act of attention either and it's defiantly not always wearing black. It does involve a few tear though. It involves not feeling anything sad or happy just numbness. Waking up and simply wanting to go straight back to bed and not ever see the day. Days aren't days; there obstacles that need to be faced. Sadly. There is no future. No explanation for this cruel bane called life. Nothing is really enjoyable. A smile becomes more rare and hard to come by than francium. It's like the death eaters in Harry Potter have caught you and sucked all the goodness from you. You're no longer you but a ghost not part of the real world.

Stranded. Deserted. Words to describe how I felt the day I was beckoned to Spring Waters institution. It sounds like a nice place right? Wrong! It exterior looked lovely a paved path way, alongside ran a trail of liberating vibrant flowers a variety of different colours. In the front yard harboured a majestic water fountain that had crystal clear water. As they say never judge a book by its cover. As I walked into the building it was filled with horror and evilness.

Hastily and sharply I was pushed into what I guess was my dorm. Bang! The door thundered followed by a sharp click of the lock. It was a vast room filled with an array of single wooden beds that did not look comfortable in the slightest. The wall were a range of various shades of grey and had vagarious odd marks stains planted on them. I think everyone else was somewhere al because the dorm was empty, bone dry except for me and the two ladies who had grudgingly threw me into the room. Once again I felt alone but this was no strange concept for me I could be in a room full of people yet I'm alone. I started walking around I did not like this what so ever. To my surprise the ladies pulled out notebooks and were inspecting me like I was a freak. Anger and rage just possessed me. My inner tiger immerged as I lunched at the ladies to get the notepads.  Suddenly I was stunned by a sharp stinging pain. I looked down and noticed a small tranquilizer dart in my arm. My vision started going impaired, the room was spinning, my head pounding. Next thing I knew there was darkness.

 "Heartbeat is speeding up the patient is regaining consciousness"

"Well then, prepare my tools and ready the operating table!" shouted the doctor in a firm voice

I wakened to the muffled sound of what sounded like instructions being called out and people franticly running around. As my eyes shrunk and expanded to the light. I tried to get up but I couldn't I was strapped tight to a rock hard cold iron bench. I tried to get free but my wrist scratched against the sharp metal hand cuffs that pinned me down. A tingling sensation swamped my wrist and the luscious scarlet river exploded from my wrist.

"One the count of three" the doctor exclaimed

"Wait! What are you doing? " I asked as I could see a nurse reading herself to pull a lever to a machine which was attached to a metal instrument that was place on my head.

"Three..."

"What NO!" I bellowed

"Two..."

"You can't do this to me!"

"One..."

"No! I'm begging you."

"Now!" he barked at the nurse

Screaming. Loud screaming that is all that could be heard in the room as the excruciating painful electrical current thundered through my body. All I could think of is this is the end for me. But sadly it was not well not yet anymore for several days I have been stuck in this limbo between life and death. A coma in medical terms and I don't know if I will ever wake up.