WISH I FOUND YOU FIRST & BLUE BUTTERFLIES

Wish I Found You First

"Wish I Found You First - TonTon"

Written in Mike's perspective

Mike wishes he was the one who found Norton first.
Then maybe he would've stood a chance..

Hey, I'm not even trying my hardest. It's 1 AM so feel free to judge me all you want.
Sure, I want critique. But don't be an ass about it..
I'm not a good writer and I wish I was.
Please, I beg you, don't read my story. Your eyes will bleed. This is for Nabi_Subedar .
Well I hope she doesn't read it either, this is embarrassing, a pathetic attempt at writing a story myself.

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"It's been two years," I glanced at the calendar and mumbled to myself, "We've been closer than ever but he's pursuing someone he can't have."

I hugged my pillow tight as tears dribbled down my cheeks, "When will he ever learn?"

Knock knock knock.

I heard a series of knocks on the door. It must be Norton.

I stood up and stretched, immediately after that I rubbed my eyes and put on my fake smile and personality.

I opened the bedroom door and yelled from across the room with a cheerful tone, "Coming!" As loud as I could.

Maybe he heard it, maybe he didn't. Oh well, I didn't care.. These feelings had to go away.

I fixed my hair up and immediately made a beeline to the door. I smiled the pain away. He wouldn't notice my dried up tears, no. I highly doubt it. The thought of it is just making me more depressed..

I opened the door and greeted him with a smile.

"You're still in your pajamas?" His tone was cold and sarcastic as ever. I got used to how casual he was around me. I realized that there was no future for the two of us.

"I just woke up," I giggled and smiled even wider, "Besides, you didn't even tell me you were going to mines!"

"Aren't you used to it already?" He replied casually, as usual.. I glanced down at my own feet, I realized I was barefoot.

"Besides you.." He suddenly stopped in his tracks. I was startled and looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Were you crying?" His tone.. was worried.

I looked at him, wide-eyed, frozen in place.

"It.. Um.."

I stuttered as one part of me wanting to tell him why fought with another part of me wanting to keep my mouth shut.

Feeling heat creep up my cheeks, I slammed the door in his face and barricaded it with my body.

"Hey, what's the matter?!" His voice was muffled by the door. Despite that, I was still able to make out what he said. He must've been yelling.

I slumped to my knees, my back pressed against the door. He kept aggressively knocking and I just hugged my knees, secretly begging for him to stop.

Eventually the knocking stopped, as expected, I listened to him walk away. He left me alone again.

Boy I was wrong. I heard him open the door to the backyard. I panicked and tried to run back to my room, tripping on my own feet.

"Why am I clumsy with him?!" I silently reprimanded myself, cursing my awkwardness around him.

I didn't expect him to help me up.

He stuck his hand out for me to grab onto, "Are you.. okay?" His tone was genuinely worried.

"Yes, I'm okay!" I stood up on my own and wiped the tears off my face.

"Are you sure? You look like you need a hug."

My face was a tomato at this point. I hate how easily I blushed. I can't fall in love again, no! Dammit Norton, "PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I.. didn't mean to..!

He looked at me in shock, "I'm sorry, I'll leave then.."

I didn't mean to! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! PLEASE COME BACK!

DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched him turn away. I retreated to the corner of the living room, sniffling every now and then as I felt lightheaded. At this point I was hyperventilating and thinking of the worst. He probably isn't gonna look back.

Who am I kidding? We're nothing more than friends.

Yeah.. Just friends. I repeated that phrase in my mind and didn't realize he was crouching right in front of me.

"I can't leave you like this," He muttered as he cupped my cheeks, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

My face was bright red, but I think he won't be able to notice it through my tears.

"Are you really sure you're okay?" His expression was worried. Worried about me.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you're not feeling like it," He continued as I remained silent, averting his gaze.

"But it's not okay to keep every problem to yourself all the time."

He let out a disappointed sigh at my lack of reaction. I looked at him with tears blurring my vision. I couldn't stop crying without telling him the truth. Without telling him what I felt about him.

He broke the silence with a low whisper, "I didn't really expect you to be the type to cry. After all, you're a privileged and respected omega. You lead a life most omegas would die for."

I sniffled and replied to his sentence, my voice cracking in between, "The happiest people in the world are the most broken inside," I finished it off with a low chuckle as tears continued dripping down my chin.

"I've known you for 2 years, but all I know is the surface of your story," he wrapped his scarf around my shoulders as I hugged my knees, he then continued, "I'd like to learn more about you, Mike."

"Won't you tell me about yourself? So I could understand your feelings a bit more."

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I was scared again.

Why is it that when I'm performing I never stutter?
Why is it that when I'm with him I feel so nervous?

He gives me anxiety..

No.. Perhaps..

He gives me butterflies in my stomach.