War of Change | Book 3

12: The Traitor

Chasing Aang through a maze of traps and facing possible hostiles gave Zuko newfound respect for what Kida had been going through all this time. It was like the whole world wanted to kill this kid, not to mention that the others weren't much better off. They were mature for their ages, and they could certainly hold their own in a fight - he knew that first hand - but they were all still just children.

Zuko never said anything out loud about it, but he made a silent agreement with himself. He'd do what Kida would do. He'd protect them all, at any cost, no matter what they needed.

When they returned from the ruins and showed the others what they'd learned, Sokka and Katara were quick to tease Zuko, but they laughed. They actually laughed. Zuko wasn't sure how they could manage it, but he was grateful to see it nonetheless because he knew Kida would have been too.

He would glare when Sokka would pick at him, but he'd never stop him, and he'd let Katara use him as a punching back all she wanted. He even let Toph use him as the butt of a joke as long as it made the others smile. If it would help them deal with the pain, then that was just how it would have to be.

Every once in a while, he did need to walk away. He would find a quiet place to simply be alone. Maybe it wasn't the best choice. Being alone meant he would think, and when he thought, his mind would inevitably travel to Kida. And sometimes, when he absolutely couldn't bear it anymore, he'd break down.

His own country killed her. The two things he loved most had gone to battle, and one had destroyed the other. This wasn't what was supposed to happen.

"Zuko?"

Zuko sat pole straight. He rubbed the collar of his tunic over his cheeks and turned away at Aang's approach. He was meant to be training with Toph; what was he doing here?

The Avatar sat down beside the prince, letting his legs hang over the side of the platform like Zuko. "It's okay," said Aang. "No one here will judge you for crying, especially about her."

Despite Aang's words, Zuko swallowed hard and tried his best to blink away the burning in his eyes. Crying in front of people just wasn't princely, or so he'd been taught. "I'm fine."

Aang snorted. "I'd be worried if that were true." He turned to look at Zuko. "She loved you, you know."

Zuko shook his head. "I'm not so sure about that. Maybe once, but we didn't end on the best of terms."

Aang nodded slowly. "You're right, but that's not how love works, not real love. She had a funny way of showing it sometimes, but I knew pretty early on that there was something about you she liked. We even talked about you after you rescued me from Zhao and those crazy archers." A fond smile cracked Aang's face. It was much too old and wise to match his features. "It's the real reason I agreed to let you train me. She always saw something in you. I think she saw this person, the one you could become. I wanted to help you get there, even if she's not around to see it for herself."

A patch of silence siphoned from the air as Zuko considered Aang's words. He did know how she loved. It was never quiet or modest. It was fierce and all-encompassing in the way she always stood between her loved ones and danger, a weapon in hand and acid on her tongue. Her truest point of pride was not that she'd die for her loved ones but that she'd kill for them. She'd put her own soul at stake if it meant those she loved didn't have to get hurt. He knew he was always safe when he was with her.