Scattered Memories

1

So I wonder why life hands you situations you feel you can't get over just to fuck with your head.
Why should I, a high school student, have to think about a completely different identity on top of trying to be the perfect role model for everyone else.
Or better yet, why do I have to think about people when I know I'm never gonna talk to them again.
I love living in the moment until that moment lasts until life forces change on it randomly.
I wish I could sit in my room and not be involved. But I realize that being uninvolved is the loneliest waste of time any one can experience.
So I took the risk and look at what it's giving me. A fuck ton of problems messing with my mental state.
What should I do? I don't wanna regret this.
But I can't think and it makes me paranoid more and more realizing that I'm wasting time.
"I wish I could've talked to her, I wish I could've just..."
But I don't want to think that. I don't wanna live life wondering what if.
When will I be at my prime? When will I die?
What if I don't accomplish anything??
Fuck man, truth is there's no telling what wonderful story I could tell if I decided to fight for myself.