Common Nightmares

You Could'nt Do More

You got the news that she over dosed. Not long after You found yourself unwillingly walking into a funeral home. Hiding behind your parents, siblings, and grandparents. It was a gloomy day, both emotionally, and weather wise. You looked as your cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Great Aunts, and Great Uncles pile in as well.
Here and there you'd notice some people that weren't familiar, realizing it was her friends. Her mother and father stood at the casket looking at her, brushing you slightly wishing that they'd wake up to this being nothing more than a bad dream. You stood to the side as her sister walked over. Hugging her parents.
Then the tears began to fall. Fall like you've never seen before. Everyone had stories, everyone had tears for her. No one wanted this for her. There you were with no tears, no stories, you didn't even know her name till the news hit. You began to feel bad, you never wanted to see your family like this. This broken.
Instead of happy get togethers every month, laughing, volleyball, a few drunk people making the party vibes continue through the night, and bouncy houses for the kids. Fishing in the crick for crawfish, and whatever else you could find, with your favorite cousins. Instead you stand in dead silence standing next to someone your comfortable around the entire time.
Asking your mother how much longer. Because your anxiety is through the roof and you feel like you shouldn't be there anymore. Guilt runs through your veins as you begin to shake. Hoping no one will notice for, you have to be the strong one.
Then it was your turn to walk up to the casket. She was still, and pale. Her face seemed orange, and done up all pretty. You look at her for only a moment until you feel you should no longer stand there. "Oh, why not go up?" They'd ask you. "It's okay, I already did." You choke on those words not wanting to feeling bad about it.
        Then you realized it's okay. The family just needs your presence and that's all you could've possibly done. The support, the love, the caring. Especially the hugs. That's the only thing you can do in that situation, yet it works miracles, and you'll soon find you will ALWAYS be the strong one.