𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐗! | 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒍 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎

an idiot's guide to getting killed

[ since i'm discontinuing my stories i figured i'd post this draft from late 2019-early 2020ish i think, just never got posted! it was written right around when looking for alaska came out on hulu so it's a bit old, just made some edits to it for you all. it was going to be a little series but i just never finished it, hope ya like it! ]

clint barton CREATED A CHATROOM

clint barton ADDED bucky barnes, sam wilson, peter parker, shuri, natasha romanoff, pietro maximoff, AND hope van dyne

clint barton NAMED THE CHATROOM: i have an idea

clint barton: hello fellow avengers

clint barton: i'm sure you are wondering why i've gathered you all here today

natasha romanoff: actually

clint barton: natasha be quiet or you'll be removed and trust me you don't want to be removed

clint barton: i have an idea

bucky barnes: oh god

sam wilson: here we go

clint barton: no no no it's good

clint barton: it's really good

pietro maximoff: okay continue father

shuri: indeed father of birds and the fast runner and witch, carry on

clint barton: wh

clint barton: ignoring that for the time being to announce my brilliant idea

clint barton: we are going to prank tony. big time.

clint barton: before i go further this idea is TOP SECRET. no one else can know about this. only the elite. we must do this completely in secret.

sam wilson: hold on a second i gotta do something

sam wilson ADDED james rhodes

sam wilson CHANGED james rhodes TO rhodeybear

sam wilson: catch up on the chat love <3

clint barton: am i a joke–

sam wilson: rhodeybear will be an extreme asset to our team you idiot

peter parker: mr rhodes would've found out anyway he's literally the best spy on our team

rhodeybear: kid i'm not a spy

shuri: that's exactly what a spy would say

peter parker: he's too good

rhodeybear: i'm not a spy... but i definitely would've found out especially with the people in this group

rhodeybear: the only two who MIGHT'VE been able to keep it a secret from me are hope and natasha

hope van dyne: thank you james i'm honored

peter parker CHANGED hope van dyne TO second best spy

peter parker: you were given a title from the megaspy james rhodes himself, i had to put it down in print

second best spy: thank you peter, i won't let you any of you down

natasha romanoff: are we going to ignore how rhodey said hope AND NATASHA