My Taken Mate

The Struggle

"Sounds good, I would never turn down a home cooked meal. We can only eat microwavable food for so long," I say, trying to act as normal as possible without letting on how twisted I feel inside.

Jeanette asks with a hand on her hip, "Is that a dig at my non-existent cooking skills?"

The guys try unsuccessfully to hide their amusement. It's true, Jeanette is a horrible cook. If it were possible, she'd probably burn water.

Falling into the friend zone I'm familiar and comfortable with, I assure her, "Of course not Jeanie, your microwave skills are the best I've ever seen."

She slaps my arm playfully before turning to head toward the front door. "Yeah, yeah. Let's get going so you can get that meal you've been missing."

I'm relieved she didn't catch my use of her nickname instead of the usual babe I'd normally tack on to that comment. Eric and Cody follow Jeanettes lead, but Grayson hangs back. When we're alone he takes that as his opportunity to pounce, "What's up with you?"

Feigning ignorance, I ask, "What do you mean?"

"You've been acting weird since the bonfire last night. Flinching when Jeanette touches you, and don't think I missed you calling her Jeanie. For the past month it's been babe-this and babe-that. Today you're suddenly back to Jeanie."

"That's what I've called her since we were kids. What's wrong with that?"

He studies me closely, "Not a damn thing, if you didn't seem to want to run away every time she gets close. What happened? You regretting claiming her?"

He hit the nail on the head, only he wouldn't have the slightest inclination as to why.

"No, nothings wrong. I guess I'm just adjusting to Pack life and having all these new connections to navigate. You know I've always been a lone wolf aside from you guys and Jeanette. It's a lot to take in," I explain, hoping he'll believe it.

"You sure, because if you need someone to talk to about it, I'm here. I know we give each other shit a lot of the time but if you needed it, I can be a good listener," he offers. "You know we all supported your decision, but none of us would blame you for having some regret over it. Or worry over possibly finding your fated mate."

It's strange to see him like this. He's usually all about a good time, leaving the serious stuff for Eric or Cody. It's just another sign this move was good for all of us. I wish I could use him as my sounding board. Having someone to talk to might relieve some of the pressure on my shoulders of how I should handle this situation.

However, knowing how he feels about Hayley, I don't think he'd be able to stay neutral in this. No matter how long we've known each other, I have no doubt that if he knew I was causing her pain of any kind, our friendship would take a serious blow.

"You guys coming or what?" Cody shouts saving me from having to answer.

"Thanks man, if I need to talk I'll let you know," I assure Grayson.

I can see he wants to push it but I don't give him a chance to as I make my way out of the kitchen. Thankfully he let's me go and follows.

When we arrive at the house, my body literally vibrates with excitement knowing our mate is just a few feet away. I can already smell her sweet scent everywhere. It reminds me of the one good childhood memory I have. It was before I met Jeanette, I was about five years old and being fostered by an older couple. Mr. And Mrs. Watson. The carnival came to the small town we lived in and they decided to take me.

As soon as we got there, I could smell the sweetness of the cotton candy being spun by one of the vendors. The pink and blue colored spun sugar hung from their carts and all throughout the carnival. We played games and they let me go on a few rides. I had the time of my life!