Psychosexual [BoyxBoyxBoy]

Chapter 15

We can do the date, I responded.

Good. I'm outside.

My eyes went to the awful window by the living room, the one with the wonderful view of the outside staircase. I glared, picturing him outside the door, waiting for me to reject him so he could walk away without me ever knowing he was there all along.

What do you mean you're outside?

I'm waiting in my car.

How did you get through the gate?

The lady recognized me from last time. I think she likes me.

I wanted nothing more than to throw my phone at the wall and watch it break into a million pieces.

Is nobody normal around here?, I thought grumpily. I left the kitchen without looking through the window to confirm he was there—I believed him.

My date routine was exactly the same as with Elijah: I took a shower, brushed my teeth, shaved the nonexistent facial hair, and picked out an outfit that Cedric had yet to see me in.

The money we made from the delivery was still tucked away in a hidden location and could be used to buy some new clothes, preferably fancy ones. But to be quite honest, I was deathly afraid of touching it. For the time being, It would remain untouched for a little while longer until I knew for sure that no one would come looking for it.

I was thankful that no one but Sonam had commented on my fashion choices. They weren't even choices to begin with, I was just poor.

When I was finished, I texted Cedric that I was coming out. Lightning struck my heart and it began to beat frantically, a regular occurance lately. Sometimes the nerves made it hard to breathe, but once I was outside and spotted Cedric in his car, distracted by the song playing in his car, his fingers tapping the wheel with the rhythm, all of my worries washed away.

But then they fucking came back when I remembered what happened.

I marched towards the black truck with tough face on. I wouldn't assume my face gave any threatening vibes, but I was very serious. When I hopped inside his truck without warning, I slammed the door shut and rolled the music all the way down.

"Talk, because I'm five seconds away from beating your ass," I demanded.

He stared at me, astonished and confused. "Woah! Calm down before you get your ass kicked."

"I am NOT joking, Cedric."

"Neither am I!" His tone was comical, which was the main reason that I exploded.

"I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP OR THINK STRAIGHT SINCE THAT NIGHT!" I screamed at him, losing any fake expressions and replacing it with pain and confusion, so he could read how much he hurt me by not telling me the truth. "ALL I SEE WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES IS BLOOD! I SEE ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE IN HOODS CHANTING LIKE SOME SATANIC CULT ABOUT TO SACRIFICE ME!"

"It's not like that," he said quietly, averting his eyes when the guilt came out.

"I was so fucking scared," I said sternly. I was no longer shouting at the top of my lungs, but my voice did not lose the emotion. It was still there with every word that came out of my mouth. "I am alone in this world, Cedric. I have no one to talk to. I have no parents, no family, no friends. All I have is my best-friend, but I can't confide in him for obvious reasons. I was going crazy and I couldn't talk to anyone about it."

"I tried to tell you that you were going to be safe, no matter what, but I realize now that it wasn't enough."

"You realize now?"