Grass Stains

Sunshine

In a strange sort of way, grass reminds Dex of Sophie. Whether left alone, or aided by outside means it always grows, bigger and stronger. Even when it's cut down it will continue to grow. Even in burnt, choked, half dead soil it may still find a way to poke through.

Most of all, grass is everywhere. Sophie is everywhere. Nearly everywhere you go it's not hard to catch glimpses, even just reminders of where it once resided. Grass lends a soft place to fall, to catch yourself when you stumble, but beware for when you do so, it leaves a stain. Sophie is always there to help, but when she does, it stains.

It's a sort of stain that's impossible to remove. It took a long time for Dex to notice the stains she left. Stains on his trust that taints the way he views others. Stains of revelations that nearly tore his family apart.

From the moment they'd met, Sophie had claimed best friend status, Dex had been ecstatic, never having had even a regular friend before. In the beginning it was perfect.

When their group grew he was suspicious, not wanting to lose this friendship he'd been so lucky to make, this friend he'd nearly given his life to keep safe.

He blames the inexperience for why he'd only just begun to notice it recently. The way that Sophie started to leave. All her time slowly began to be spent with others, more exciting friends, with more to offer her.

He wonders when their relationship started to change, so gradual that it was almost impossible to see how time spent between them evolved. Changed from actual time spent between two people who cared enough about each other to risk their lives for one another.

The turning point was when Sophie kissed him. Even though he had convinced himself that he wanted it, that he felt romantically for her, he still felt betrayed. He felt like she'd taken that innocence from him, when he could pretend that everything was fine, because the moment she touched her lips to his the curtain began to fall. He could see that she'd just taken the easy route, done the simplest thing in order to rid herself of the obstacle that was him. Without even keeping his feelings in mind. That was the first stain he noticed.

After that it was harder to pretend that she really cared. His vision was no longer clouded by that desperate attempt at love.

He noticed the way Sophie only spoke to him when she needed something from him. Anything from gadgets to comfort, he was used.

"You're my best friend!" She would tell him, all empty words and plastic smiles, he wondered if she was dumb enough to believe those words were true. They weren't, it was just a transaction, whatever she wanted in return for any feeling of camaraderie, of affection that he craves

It's pathetic, he knows this. He isn't stupid. He can tell that he's only good as a tool. The council uses him. The Black Swan uses him. His parents use him. His friends use him.

Scratch Sophie, everyone is like grass. He's like an old machine, left to water and tend to the grass until it grows onto his frame and clogs his gears. And once he's no longer useful it'll keep growing until they leave him buried and forgotten.

It isn't until Sophie and Forkle leave him at Tinkers, under the guise of finding 'someone like himself' that he truly allows himself to accept this fact. Now, as he sits beside that contraption of a house, left alone to build, he accepts that to everyone he's just a machine. Desperate enough to do anything in return for recognition.

He decides to try his best to be that machine, if it's all he's good for. He builds and he builds. Immersing himself in the world of gears and wires.

Perhaps, if one day he can make enough machines and gadgets, and gives the world what they want from him, they'll finally help him be worth something.