This Side of the Light

Chapter One

The ache in my bones settled in earlier than normal tonight. I loathed the fact that the clouds decided now was a good time to open up and cry out all their troubles to the earth. It made my knees ache. And I was very tired of my knees aching. I couldn't stop grumbling to myself as I caught every red light, shivering despite the heat blasting in my car. Twenty-something and I already had the tickle of arthritis in my joints. 

"Well," I mumbled to no one in particular. "Hopefully that means you'll die young."

The sky reminded me of me. As pitch black at five o'clock as I was old at twenty-four. It didn't help that my hands were currently caked in paint and marker from five consecutive elementary art classes. I loved those kids with more than I had, and it killed me to think that maybe I wasn't giving them as much as I could be.

"Still," no one in particular kept on listening. "It's a lot better than what the school was doing before."

Yeah. I thought to myself. Much better. No more coloring sheets. The previous art teacher thought it was a great idea to go from the east side heights to central lows "out of the kindness of her heart". All the veteran staff had a solid snicker at that for weeks. I was just a kindergarten teacher who decided to dedicate a half hour after lunch to actual art, and they bumped me out of my beloved rainbow carpet and snot covered tables. I missed those little idiots, still learning how to people and too young to properly sass you.

As much as I loved giving hundreds of kids a positive and creative outlet, I really, really missed generally easy lessons and grading. And not having to come up with interesting projects for angsty and surprisingly talented fourteen-year-olds. I was not prepared to go from paper craft alphabets and construction paper replicas of Bold and Bright to clay modeling and pastel drawing. 

"I'm so making our next unit yarn, or something. Way less messy." No one listened patiently.

It took a century for me to exchange downtown industry for west side suburbia. When I finally made it through my front door, I felt myself start to inflate again after all my angry commuter sagging. 

"Finally," I breathed, grabbing the spray bottle on the little table against the wall, and spritzing my little collection of succulents. "Home, sweet home."

I saw blue eyes flash at me from the coat closet and smiled. "Hi, Casper. Mama's home."

He just flicked his tail and settled back into the top tier of his cat tower. Plopping down smack in the middle of the sofa, I flicked on some soft music and picked up my book. A moment later, Cas decided to come say hello. I snuggled a little further into the cushions, tugging a blanket out of the basket in the corner and folding it over the two of us. The ache in my bones lessened, the knot in my shoulders unwound just a little, and my chest relaxed enough for me to take a deep breath.

And it was all ruined by a buzzing on my phone. Hallie. 

"It's five-fifteen, I am settled in and about to reheat last night's dinner. Can I please pass on our adventures tonight?"

"That's a great way to greet your only friend." She teased. I could hear traffic and rain in the background. She was already on her way, and she knew I knew it.

"Cas is already snuggled in." I whined.

"C'mon. It's Friday. And we haven't done anything this whole week. Plus I'm lonely."

"Now who is it that only has one friend?" 

"Oh shut up, and put on your nice pants. And that one burgundy jacket. You look good in that." She instructed.

"Please let me pass on CJ's! It's been so uncomfortable lately." I couldn't help but groan.

"That was one time!"

"It was twice!"

"We need to reclaim it. Show the world it's ours." She countered.

"I swear to god, if I get hit on by your ex friends one more time, I'm never talking to you again." I was already pulling on my nice pants.

"Be nice to me! And those pants better be on because I'm here."

"God, I hate you Hallie."

"I love you, too." She laughed.

In a minute, I was down in the parking lot, wet and tripping into her car. 

"Thank you for coming." She drawled as we headed out.

I sighed, knowing I could never say no to a night out with her. Someone had to make sure she didn't get too drunk. "You're welcome. And please, please. No fireball this time."

"That was one time!"

"Are we going to repeat this conversation?"

"Fine. twice."

"Thank you. Now be responsible, or I'll be responsible for you and we'll be gone by nine." I half teased.

When we pulled up, nerves tugged at the bottom of my spine, crawling up to the nape of my neck. I had a love-hate relationship with this place, and lately, it weighed heavily on the hate side. The people were especially rowdy tonight, and the guy leaning against the wall just next to the door kept giving me the creeps.

I couldn't help but eye him as we passed by, his hair was somewhere between auburn and brown, giving an all together otherworldly vibe to his already strange features. His eyes glared out from under his fringe, flitting between shades of blue. He was unnerving, with his sharp nose, peaked lips, and clenched jaw. He looked dangerous, and I almost blanched when Hallie turned to me as soon as we passed him to squeal about how attractive he was.

"I don't know, dude. He gave me some serious creeper vibes." My face scrunched up as I felt his eyes follow us in.

"If by creeper, you mean godlike, then yes." She gabbed, dragging me over to our usual corner booth and waving Todd the Waiter over.

"Hello, Todd the Waiter!" I called, trying my best to shake off the initial discomfort and have a good night.

He just shook his head at us. "Is it Friday already?"

"It is, indeed." I mused.

"Usual?" he asked.

"Usual." Hallie and I chirped in sync.

"Good, because I already put the order in. Ya'll are five minutes late and I got worried." he swished away, yapping about how he had a schedule and we better stick to it.

And just as I felt myself relaxing, I saw Creep take the booth in front of us, making direct eye contact with me. Hallie perked herself up, giving her hair a sly fluff and pulling her shoulders back. Nervousness tingled in my fingertips and I wanted out. Bad. 

"Hey, I'm going to make a bathroom run. Protect the purses?" I was already out of the booth and walking.

My hands still had flecks of paint on them, dots and dashes of blue, red, and yellow. I scraped them off as I marched to the bathroom, dodging and weaving the bodies gathered at the bar and swaying around the solo act. It was Ernie. I needed to say hi to him. But the fire numbing my hands spread up to my elbows and jumped down to my toes. 

I gulped down air as I turned on the faucet and stuck my hands under it, cooling the imaginary flames licking at my flesh. It took a minute -- well, more than a minute if I was being honest -- before I felt calm enough to brave the dark and swirling masses of CJ's Bar and Eats. The chicken strips better be good tonight.

Air flowed through me more easily as I managed to wave at a few familiar faces and blow Ernie an exaggerated kiss. He caught it with a wink and smile before making a dad joke to the audience. He might only be five years older than me, but he was the best father figure I could think of. And he made the same face I did when a very strange and dangerous man was planted right next to Hallie. In our booth. At our place. With his arm around her shoulders.

I thought back to dying young and thought now would be a good time.