"Um.. may itatanong lang ako and promise me ah sa'tin lang 'to.." sabi ko sa kanya. "..don't even tell Juan too."
"Uy, parang seryoso ata 'yan ah pero sige, shoot." aniya and it was then I started sharing what happened nung last week. Where we met Dani sa mall, iyong mga cryptic messages na ginawa nila talking about moving on tas iyong pagtititigan nila Juan and Dani na parang sila lang ang nakakaalam.
"Baka trip-trip lang nila yun.." Wika ni Ricci pagkatapos kong magkwento sa kanya. "...tsaka ano kasi yung alam ko lang ano... hindi ata naging sila talaga ni Juan."
So hindi naging sila? Si Dani and Juan?
"..Pero nagkaroon sila ng something.." Dagdag niya agad and I can feel my heart shatter a little.
"So, you mean there was something between them pero hindi naging sila officially? Bakit?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Ang sabi ni Juan sa'kin, hindi raw nag work out e. Narealize niya na it's better to just stay friends with Dani na lang daw.." tugon niya at napatahimik ako doon. Should I be relief with what he had just said or what??
"Nagtagal ba sila?"
"'Yan ang hindi ko alam Eva pero feeling ko hindi rin ata kasi sabi sa'kin ni Juan hindi rin nga daw naging serious kung ano man meron sa kanila noon.."
Hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ba ako o mapapanatag na isip ko sa mga nalaman ko tungkol kay Dani at Juan. I don't know anymore after I knew Juan said that it wasn't serious daw what he and Dani had. Kasi napaisip ako like eto kaya yung amin, seryoso kaya? Seryoso kaya 'to sa kanya? Ah tangina naman 'tong pag o-overthink ko. Nakakainis. Shit.
"Oy! Alam kong iniisip mo.. Huwag kang mag-alala dahil sobrang mahal ka nun ni Juan. Bakod na bakod nga no'n e.." Tapik niya sa aking balikat, assuring me at napailing lamang ako sa sinabi niya at hilaw na ngumiti.
I still honestly don't know what to feel. I don't like to doubt Juan's love for me because he has been so great to me. Too good for me even pero how can I not be after learning these from Ricci?
Hindi ko mapigilan isipin na was Dani not enough to Juan? I mean it's not that pero when the time comes din ba, am I not going to be enough for him too? Is he going to leave me too? Putangina. I really hate overthinking.
It makes you doubt things when in the first place you shouldn't.
Nagpasalamat ako kay Ricci nang nagpaalam na siyang umalis. I thanked him because I really thought wala akong matatanggap sa kanya because you know the saying, 'your boyfriend's friends are not your friends' Iyong kahit pagbalik-baliktarin man ang mundo, tama man o mali, sa barkada pa rin nila sila papanig but I guess I was wrong.
Sumunod ang mga araw, Juan and I seldom each other na kasi he's starting to get busy na rin ngayong papatapos na ang elimination round and they're on their last crucial games. They've been training really hard and focused at these times kasi they've been aiming for that second spot sa final four.
Kaya hanggang facetime and texts nalang kami ngayon though there are times gusto talaga makipagkita ni Juan pero hindi ako pumapayag because we need to look at our priorities first. His career and my academics.
"Are you really not going to watch my game?" lungkot na tanong sa'kin ni Juan habang nagmamaneho ito. We're on our way to school and yep, sinundo niya 'ko sa bahay because he thinks na sa ganitong paraan na lang daw kami nagkakasama nang maayos, nang matagal.
Napagtanto ko rin na ito nalang ata yung pinakamatagal na nagkasama kami these past days. He insisted kasi na susunduin niya raw ako sa bahay para sabay na kami pumasok kaya hindi na'ko nakaangal do'n.
