OMG!! :( today was soo bad and humiliating and terrible and i wantted to crawl into a hole and... idk.... DECOMPOSE... LIKE THOSE EATHWORM THONGIES!!! :( it all started off like this...
it was saturday and i was using the bathroom but all of my explosive diareahh clogged the frikin' toilet!!! i was like..
OH.
NO.
I.
DIDN'T! :(
i felt soo bad for the toilet cuz it was stuck with my STANK NASTY poo in it. anyways my mom was mowing the front lawn and eating churros like some sort of.. ummm. oh! SOME MEXICAN! like this guy in my class named pablo cardooni! :)
anyways i went to the front lawn to tell my mom how my diareahh clogged the toilet. "mom! my poo clogged the toilet!" i said " WATTT? I CANT HEAR YOU THIS LAWNMOWER THINGY IS TOO LOUD!!" she replied "I SAID, MY POO CLOGGED THE TOILET!!!" i shouted. " OHH NO! THOSE THINGS CAUSE A FORTUNE TO FIX! ITS SOO EXPENSIVE! ITS LIKE $5!!!" she answered. then, unluckily, that BEAUTIFUL shy'heim guy passed by in some SUPER-CUTE broken army pants and no shirt or shoes!!! and he had ABS... of jelly!!! :) man, that guy had EXPENSIVE taste in clothes! well, compared to me...
then, my stupid mom said "HAI SHY' HEIM!, LOOK ZARA ITS THE GUY YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH!!!!" i sware i was about to pee my pants. both of embarassment and i actually had to pee... :(
then, shy' heim puked and said eww. like right to my FACE!!! WHO DID HE THINK HE WAS??? OBAMA?! LIKE MAKENZIE??! WELL GUESS WAT? I'M BARACK OBAMA!!! :) YASS!
sadly i coulnt hold me pee in anymore and went to a tree right in front of shy' heim, pulled down my pants and nylon thongs and took a nice, LONG PEE! he was like "bruh, thats nasty, btw ur 13 why are you using THONGS?! like, fareal! and can you cover your hairy virgina?!" i was like, about to die... i cant even write any more... for today... BYE! im such an unlucky shemale... :(
This is only the second part so dont worry i'll keep updating!!! btw this is based on real life and all the characters are real!!! so... ENJOYY BAE'S!
YOU ARE READING
Dork diaries: tales of a not-so-popular loser
Teen Fictionhai! im zara sinklair! my life is soo not working out right now. especially ever since i met makenzie, that spoiled little butthole. and also cuz i had a massive fart attack in class! infront of my major crush, SHY'HEIM! omg, talk about embarassing...
