m u s i c / c.evans

68 - i n t e r v i e w

Bold = Faye
Italics = Kieran (interviewer)

Hello and welcome back
to another episode of
"Let's see how much I can
get a celebrity to hate me
by asking questions that
I had no control over in
writing,"!

{laughs}

I'm joking, although I'm
not. Here we are, with
ten questions. Today, we
are here with the one and
only, Faye Holland!

Hi everyone! It's me,
the original Green Giant.

{laughs} Is that how you
always brand yourself?

It's a nickname that's
been stuck with me since
primary school {giggles}

How did you get stuck
with that?

I was tall.
Embarrassingly tall.

As much as I would love
to talk more about that,
we don't want to keep you
too long. We understand
that touring can be tiring
{both laugh}. So, on with
the first question: You've
been given an elephant.
You cannot give it away
or sell it; what do you do
with the elephant?

{laughs} that's the
weirdest question I've
ever been asked.

They only get weirder.

Um, I would buy a
preserve and also a
large plot of land next
to the reserve. I would
build my house on the
plot of land - where I
could walk to the
preserve, and allow my
elephant to live in its
natural habitat with
its own species, but
I didn't technically
give it away because
it's living on my
preserve.

That's the smartest answer
I've ever heard {laughs
and sighs} Okay, question
2: How many pennies
would fit into this room?

Jeez, uhhhh-

It's not a big room.

It could still fill a
f{beep} load of pennies
in it. {laughs} I wanna
say...millions. I think,
like, 70 million pennies.

Final answer?

Final answer.

Okay {laughs} Question 3:
If you were a tree, what
type of steer would you
be and why?

I would be an Acacia
tree because when you
see them in a lot of
savannah photography,
like in the sunsets,
they're f{beep}ing
gorgeous.

You swear a lot {laughs}

What can I say?
I'm British.

[several questions later]

Okay! And now, for our
final question with the
queen herself: If you could
compare yourself to any
animal, what would it be?

A brown bear! Oh my
god, a f{beep}ing brown
bear. I love brown bears,
they're so cute and they
can climb faster than they
can run and my most used
emoji is the bear emoji.

Wow, so you really don't
like brown bears, huh?

{both laugh}

Well, thank you, Faye,
for coming in today
and allowing us to
interview you.

No, thank you for
giving me one of the
funnest and most
original interviews
I've ever been to
{smiles brightly}

Wow, you're kinder than
literally anybody on this
set right now.

{both laugh}

Thanks for watching, guys!