NO GOODBYES

Patching up

Everyday is an adventure, its a book waiting for its pages to be turned,The life we have, the dreams we share, the memories that make us, is sometimes the sadness that breaks us, but ALL of them are gifts, They Make us who we are today. That's what mom said before she passed away.

Everyday is a struggle for me, Early in the morning I try to lift my head off the pillow, that is drenched with tears of my regret and sorrow, there was no one to hug me in the morning and told me they loved me. No one to gently stroke my hair and tell me it's ALL going to be alright. As I wore the necklace she gave me, I couldn't help but break down in tears, but then I remembered what she told me and got back on my feet, My home was now just an empty house, it yearned her laughter, her joy, her happiness and her love. I sat on the table next to dad, he was reading the paper, but his eyes lost in despondency. He never uttered a single word after she was gone. Then I heard Arlo cry, he was too young to understand what was going on, but he just needed his bottle and that stopped the fuss, he just lay in his crib without a single clue, whenever I looked at him my heart would SINK even more!! He will never know how it feels to be loved by a mother, he would never feel the care and happiness she would bring to his life.

Suddenly I heard the bus outside, I was so lost in my thoughts I forgot I was late to school. I packed my cold lunch off the table, said bye to dad and kissed Arlo on the check, but as i was about to leave, I just FROZE, I felt uneasy, like I was waiting for something, like something was missing, and to the obvious part it was moms goodbye kiss. I walked outside and looked up at the sky, knowing she's in heaven all safe and sound, so I slammed the door behind me and dragged my feet all across the road. As I stood there in front of the bus, memories just flooded my head, it was as if the pain would never end. 

In the bus, my mind was never able stay focused, constantly drifting away, then I came back as the bus suddenly jerked. We had stopped, when I realized what was going on, I was kind of happy cause this is where Becka lived , she was kinda my best friend kinda not, we had a past, but I guess you learn to forgive as time goes on.