"I'm sorry. Please, ayoko nang ganito tayo." Sabi naman niya.
'Kala ko naiyak ko na lahat kanina pero naiiyak uli ako. Niyakap ko din siya.
"Ayoko din naman na ganito tayo e." Sabi ko naman.
His hold on me tighten. "Then let's stop fighting. Please."
Siniksik ko naman yung ulo ko sa chest niya 'cause I was already crying. Mukhang napansin naman yun ni Mark.
"Love? Oh, love. I'm sorry. I really am." Sabi naman niya. "I'm not just saying it. I don't wanna see you like this. Shit, pangalawang beses na 'to na napaiyak kita."
Hinila naman ako ni Mark patayo then papunta sa bed. Nawala siya for a moment pero before ko pa siya hanapin he was back with one of my dress shirt na inoffer niya sa'kin. I realized naman na I was only in a towel. I took the shirt gratefully and donned it on.
After that Mark sat in front of me and for a moment tumingin lang kami sa isa't-isa.
"I'm sorry." Sinabi naman niya uli.
"Sorry din..." Sabi ko naman ng tahimik. "Pero Mark, nasaktan kasi talaga ako e." Sinimulan ko namang sabihin.
Sabi ni Mae sabihin ko lahat ng gusto kong sabihin so I'll do that. I hope he'll listen.
"I trust you kasi e. And alam ko naman na you're just naturally honest, pero yung mga bagay na between sa'ting dalawa lang... Ayun. Akala ko nga sa ating dalawa lang. But you..." I sighed. Parang pauli-ulit na yung sinasabi ko.
He didn't say anything. I hope it's because he's really listening right now. Tumuloy na lang ako sa pagsasalita. Better get this off my chest.
"Alam ko you trust Tim. Kahit naman ako. Kaibigan ko din naman si Tim. Pero are you saying na since kaibigan mo naman si Tim and you trust him, you'd be comfortable with him seeing me naked?"
"Wha-- no, of course not." Sabi naman niya.
"Yun kasi yung naramdaman ko e." Sabi ko naman. "Parang ni-bare mo ako sa kanya when you told him things na dapat sa'ting dalawa lang."
Natahimik naman siya uli.
"I guess sa ibang tao wala lang naman yun. Pero hindi kasi talaga ako comfortable, Mark. OA ko ba? Dapat ba pilitin ko sarili ko na maging comfortable dun?" I asked him sincerely.
"No, Nicz. Of course not." Sabi naman niya kagad. "I'm sorry. I really am. Alam ko na where you're coming from. I'm sorry for everything."
He hugged me again and I hugged him back. Medyo na-comfort ako nung amoy nung perfume niya.
Habang yakap-yakap niya ko, tinuloy ko naman yung gusto kong sabihin.
"I'm sorry if may mga nasabi ako. I was really angry. Nasaktan talaga ako, Mark e."
"Nevermind that. I understand. I deserve them anyway." Sabi naman niya. "But please, Nicz, 'wag ka nang tatakbo sa'kin. 'Wag ka na lang biglang mawawala or biglang magiging cold. I really panicked, Nicz. Tell me what you're feeling. Kahit ano pa yan. I promise I'll listen properly na."
I nodded naman. Yeah, I guess mali din na I tried to punish him by giving him the cold shoulder.
"Okay. I'm sorry. And I do appreciate na you were honest with me." Sabi ko naman. "Promise me you'd always be honest with me? Kahit na you think I'd get mad. And I promise I'll try to let you in na. I'll try not to run away. Pero Mark... minsan din kasi nakakaoverwhelm ka. I..."
"If you need space, I'll give that to you. Pero tell me. Talk to me. Please." Sabi naman niya.
"Okay." I said and held him tighter. But he eventually pulled away to look at me.
ČTEŠ
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