Crazier Than You

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We as humans are conditioned from the very beginning to believe certain things. We must always write in MLA format, rain means a bad day, girls wear pink, boys wear blue, and we must fear death. I believed all of those things at some point or another, but death? No, I never feared it. I grew up perfectly normal, well at least normal enough. Maybe a little lonely, and maybe insecure, but nothing drastic. I've always had it though. That pain in my chest and shaking in my body. The sobs I kept choked down in my chest to silently suffer. Anxiety. My age old enemy. Because of it I welcomed death at a very young age. Anything to make it stop. It eventually got so bad I felt depressed all the time. Even though I've been going to a therapist since I was twelve, no one knew how deep it was. I kept my scars very well hidden. It was easier to cut my wrists and hide it than try to explain to everyone how bad I was hurting. Don't get me wrong cutting didn't fix anything, but at least for that moment I was in control of the pain. I always smiled. Always. Because no one could know that happy, go-lucky Asher Keegan was dead inside. Not even my best friend Noah knew any of it.