Alex From Target 2: The Return Of Alex

It had been four years. Four years since Alex from Target was arrested by the FBI in front of my own eyes, before disappearing in less than a month.

I lived with Daquan from Staples. It was good enough, I guess. But we both knew it wasn't true love.

No one could ever measure up to Alex.

I still went to the Target in the hope that he would one day return. Almost religiously, I went to every Target in the area.

I never found him, but I never stopped trying.

Daquan couldn't satisfy me. It was shameful, but I was cheating on him. I was also cheating on Kieran from T-Mobile, the guy I was cheating on Daquan with.

What can I say? Alex was my one true love, but while he was gone, I figured I could have some fun. I mean, he was coming back.

It came time for my weekly Target trip. Daquan and I piled into our '67 Impala. I rushed to the store while Daquan lingered behind, making a phone call.

I bought a few things and headed to the register when I saw a familiar face.

Two of them, actually.

Kieran, from T-Mobile, who I'd been having an affair with- and Shaniqua from Chipoltle, who I'd also been having an affair with.

Making out. In the tampon isle.

"What?!" I screamed. Kieran peeled away from Shaniqua.

"Baby, I'm sorry. But I can't be contained. You two aren't the only ones-"

"No that's fine." I interrupted. "I was cheating on you with Shaniqua. But who else is there?"

"Well, there's Daquan from Staples." he announced.

I gasped. Daquan had been cheating on me?

"Wait, I was doing him too." said Shaniqua.

"We've all been cheating on each other... with each other?" asked Daquan, entering the store.

Then his voice took a serious tone. "There was one other person."

We all leaned in. Daquan stared at the ground, ashamed.

"Tell me his name." I said. But something about the way Daquan spoke made me wonder if I really wanted to know.

Daquan was hesitant, his voice barely a whisper.

"His name is Alex... Alex from Target."